#2162The Future of On-Line Porn7/7/2014
#2161Video Game Kills That Actually Affected Me 7/6/2014
#2160The Girl in Our Apartment Complex Who is Too Friendly 7/1/2014
#2159Thoughts on Being a Father 6/30/2014
#2158Making Your Own Fake Radio Show As a Kid 6/29/2014
#2157Review of Frozen 6/11/2014
#2156Reverse Racism 6/10/2014
#2155FACEBOOK FRIEND GENUINELY CONCERNED WITH THE WELL BEING OF BILLIONAIRES 6/9/2014
#2154Me and Tim and The Week From Hell 6/8/2014
#2153My Video Game Idea That Takes Place On An Island 6/7/2014
#2152I Just Realized I Don't Have Any Black Friends 6/6/2014
#2151The Advocate is a Magazine for Gay People 6/5/2014
#2150The Way the Mass Effect Movie Should Be 6/4/2014
#2149When I Found Out I Was Different Than Other X-Files Fans 6/3/2014
#2148ENTIRE FAMILY UNFAMILIAR WITH CONCEPT OF WORKING ON WEEKENDS 6/2/2014
#2147Review of Gravity 6/1/2014
#2146Harmony Korine's is in Spring Breakers 5/31/2014
#2145A Friend of an Internet Friend 5/30/2014
#2144My Actual Reaction to the UCSB Shooter 5/29/2014
#2143I'm Super Happy With My Poop Chair 5/28/2014
#2142ICE-T the Rapper Is An Actor on Law And Order: SVU 5/27/2014
#2141FIRST AMENDMENT NUTS RALLY FOR EXCESSIVE FREE SPEECH IN PUBLIC PLACES 5/26/2014
#2140Things I Used to Believe 9 5/25/2014
#2139What Kind of Comedy Do I Do? 5/11/2014
#2138Why Kurt Cobain is Still My Role Model 4/23/2014
#2137The Drunken Native American Who Started Following Me Home 4/22/2014
#2136Nuns on The Run 4/21/2014
#2135An Easter Thought 4/20/2014
#2134Random Thoughts 212 4/19/2014
#2133Dream About Being a Bodyguard 4/18/2014
#2132Dream About the First Batman Movie 4/17/2014
#2131Review of Spring Breakers 4/16/2014
#2130Review of How I Live Now 4/15/2014
#2129Dream About Eating a New Snack 4/14/2014
#2128The Bullshit Conversation A Group of Guys Always Get Into 4/13/2014
#2127FAVORITE GAMES OF THE LAST GENERATION: #1!!! 4/12/2014
#2126FAVORITE GAMES OF THE LAST GENERATION: #5 - #2! 4/11/2014
#2125FAVORITE GAMES OF THE LAST GENERATION: #10 - #6! 4/10/2014
#2124FAVORITE GAMES OF THE LAST GENERATION: #15 - #11! 4/9/2014
#2123FAVORITE GAMES OF THE LAST GENERATION: #20 - #16! 4/8/2014
#2122FAVORITE GAMES OF THE LAST GENERATION: #40 - #20! 4/7/2014
#2121FAVORITE GAMES OF THE LAST GENERATION: The Rules! 4/6/2014
#2120Review of Compliance 4/5/2014
#2119Gay Best Friend Porn Site Idea 4/4/2014
#2118My First Hug 4/3/2014
#2117I Don't Know How To Start Hugging 4/2/2014
#2116HILARIOUS APRIL FOOL'S DAY PRANKS 2014! 4/1/2014
#2115MILLIONS OF ASSHOLES SIGN UP FOR OBAMACARE JUST TO FUCK WITH NATION 3/31/2014
#2114Parents Are Lame 3/30/2014
#2113It's Not That Life is Too Short 3/29/2014
#2112A Hypocrite Who Uses a Reasonable Tone is Still a Hypocrite 3/28/2014
#2111Men Cannot Raise Their Testicles on Their Own 3/27/2014
#2110Review of The Artist 3/26/2014
#2109A Thought About Teens React to Nirvana 3/25/2014
#2108How I Met Your Mother Pt. 2 3/24/2014
#2107How I Met Your Mother Pt. 1 3/23/2014
#2106Review of Upstream Color 3/22/2014
#2105Dream About a Commercial on TV 3/21/2014
#2104REJECTED HEADLINES 3 3/20/2014
#2103Marvel Girl Was Into Nappies 3/19/2014
#2102"Shwing!" 3/18/2014
#2101Of Course 12 Years A Slave Won Best Picture, Right Assholes? 3/17/2014
#21002100TH ENTRY! THE BEST OF THE PREVIOUS 100! 3/16/2014
#2099The Word "Snog" 3/15/2014
#2098UGLY COUPLE FUCKED IN THE HOT TUB 3/14/2014
#2097SOMEHOW WHEELCHAIR BOUND SUB TREATED WORSE THAN ABLE BODIED SUB 3/13/2014
#2096LOCAL MAN OKAY WITH WIFE'S COPIOUS GAY PORN CONSUMPTION 3/12/2013
#2095HOUSE MUSIC DJ OPENLY DOING TAXES AT FESTIVAL PERFORMANCE 3/11/2013
#2094TEXAS SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT CONTROVERSIAL 3/10/2014
#2093You Do Not Work Better When Multi-Tasking 3/9/2014
#2092Shelby, The Girl Who Was My First Kiss, Pt 2 3/8/2014
#2091Shelby, The Girl Who Was My First Kiss, Pt 1 3/7/2014
#2090What I'm Afraid of At Parties And Get Togethers 3/6/2014
#2089"I'm Going To Need You Guys To Give 110%" 3/5/2014
#2088Review of Room 237 3/4/2014
#2087Mistaking Two Men Who Have A Specific Thing In Common 3/3/2014
#2086Doing It With The Windows Open 3/2/2014
#2085Review of Frances Ha 3/1/2014
#2084The Guy Who Looks Like Ted Nugent 2/28/2014
#2083Dream About A Girl Who Had To Save A Boy From a Monster 2/27/2014
#2082Did You Ever Have a Friend Who Changed Totally When She Dated a Guy? 2/26/2014
#2081Pet Peeve: When People Misuse "Invented" 2/25/2014
#2080Will I Regret All The Time I Wasted on Video Games? 2/24/2014
#2079Yes, They Will Look Stupid. No, They Won't Care 2/23/2014
#2078A Few Thoughts on Ayn Rand 2/22/2014
#2077Dream About Students Doing Their Greek God Reports 2/21/2014
#2076Stand Up Helped Me Be a Good Parent 2/20/2014
#2075Secret About Me 27 2/19/2014
#2074The Gathering of the Juggalos 2/18/2014
#2073Parents with Trophy Special Needs Kids 2/17/2014
#2072The Warnings About My Roommate From Hell Were All From Insane People 2/16/2014
#2071My First And Only Exposure to Dr. Who 2/15/2014
#2070A Secret About Me 26 2/14/2014
#2069The Pablo Francisco-related Shame I've Carried With Me All These Years 2/13/2014
#2068Random Thoughts 211 2/12/2014
#2067People Who Don't Play Along with Hypothetical Questions Are Goddamn Assholes 2/11/2014
#2066Hypothetical Question About a Pill 2/10/2014
#2065Dream About A Movie That Never Got Made 2/9/2014
#2064Gay People's Stories Always Start Exactly The Same 2/8/2014
#2063Yes, I Like Guy Stuff 2/7/2014
#2062Story Idea: A Father and His Daughter Lost in a Forest With a Monster 2/6/2014
#2061Even The Reasonable Gun Owner's Arguments Don't Make Sense 2/5/2014
#2060Nerdy Thought About Marceline From Adventure Time 2/4/2014
#2059R.I.P. Philip Seymour Hoffman 2/3/2014
#2058What Could Be Gayer Than Masculinity? 2/2/2014
#2057I Don't Hate Selfies 1/26/2014
#2056Your Cousins' Other Grandparents 1/25/2014
#2055Men Who Hate Women 1/24/2014
#2054Fucking in Movie Theaters 1/23/2014
#2053Dream About Jerry Seinfeld's Return to Sitcoms 1/22/2014
#2052Random Thoughts 210 1/21/2014
#2051HOROSCOPE: CUTE COFFEE GIRL THINKS OF NOTHING BUT YOU ASKING HER OUT, ASSUMING ALL HER RESPONSIBILITIES 1/20/2014
#2050Stock Market Investment Tip Shows 1/19/2014
#2049Socially Liberal and Fiscally Conservative-- You Know, Right in The Middle 1/18/2014
#2048People At Work Whom You Don't Work With Daily But Are Assholes 1/17/2014
#2047I Don't Know Why Nudity Is More Difficult For Americans Than Violence 1/16/2014
#2046Dream Of My Killer Whale 1/15/2014
#2045Girl You So Fine 4 1/14/2014
#2044Girl You So Fine 3 1/13/2014
#2043Girl You So Fine 2 1/12/2014
#2042Girl You So Fine 1 1/11/2014
#2041Fat Men Vs. Fat Women In Sexy Costumes 1/10/2014
#2040Pet Peeve: The Misuse of the Word "Invented" 1/9/2014
#2039I Don't Trust the Ocean 1/8/2014
#2038The Girl Who Suddenly Started Wearing Her Make-Up Differently 1/7/2014
#2037YOU CAN TOTALLY TELL ASSHOLE AT GROCERY STORE IS MANAGER 1/6/2014
#2036Watching a Nude Girl With an Uncomfortable Boner 1/5/2014
#2035Musicals Sound Like the Twilight Zone 1/4/2014
#2034The Creeper Crawler Machine Was Worse Than Murdering a Bunch of Children 1/3/2014
#2033Hard Working isn't Always Success 1/2/2014
#2032NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS 2014! 1/1/2014
#2031The Internet Makes Assumptions About Me 12/31/2013
#2030A Letter To My Arch Nemesis, Pope Francis 12/30/2013
#2029Immediate Family Only at School Functions, Please 12/29/2013
#2028The Thelma & Louise Disclaimer 12/28/2013
#2027Pretty Girls With Ugly, Fat Boyfriends 12/27/2013
#2026I Don't Have Room For Doctor Who 12/26/2013
#2025NEW CHRISTMAS SONGS I WROTE 2013! 12/25/2013
#2024I Don't Believe in Lying to Kids About Santa 12/24/2013
#2023How Dare the ACLU Force "Happy Holidays" Onto Us! 12/23/2013
#2022The Holiday Charity Heart Attack 12/22/2013
#2021When Someone Finds Your Comedy Notes 12/21/2013
#2020Female Comics Talk About Their Periods 12/20/2013
#2019Penis Enhancements 12/19/2013
#2018Getting Into Contact with Someone Who Used To Be Into You And You Didn't Know It 12/18/2013
#2017Did You Know Insurance Companies Didn't Have Standards? 12/17/2013
#2016WOMAN UNSURE WHAT OWN "KONY 2012" BUMPER STICKER IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN 12/16/2013
#2015When Fat People are Assholes 12/09/2013
#2014I Love You Sarah Connor! 11/25/2013
#2013Review of Atoms for Peace, Amok 11/24/2013
#2012Watching a Woman Cry on a Live Sex Cam 11/17/2013
#2011Random Thoughts 209 11/16/2013
#2010Trying to Get Rid of the Mormons and JWs 11/15/2013
#2009Random Thoughts 208 11/14/2013
#2008Overheard at the Hot Tub 11/13/2013
#2007Sometimes Being a Liberal is Annoying 11/12/2013
#2006A Post Script About Yesterday's Entry 11/11/2013
#2005Damien And His Brother Coming to Kick My Ass 11/10/2013
#2004HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS 2013! 10/31/2013
#2003Random Thoughts 207 10/30/2013
#2002Ghosts Are Kinda Bullshit 10/29/2013
#2001A Rather Indecent Proposal 10/28/2013
#20002000TH ENTRY! THE BEST OF THE PREVIOUS 100! 10/27/2013
#1999THE MIDDLE OF OCTOBER... 10/13/2013
#1998CD LEFT ON FLOOR WISHES SOMEONE WOULD JUST THROW IT AWAY 7/29/2013
#1997Random Thoughts 206 7/28/2013
#1996Sitcom Couples Who Don't Have Sex 7/27/2013
#1995Privatized Prisons Are Bullshit 7/26/2013
#1994Nobody Thrives While Multitasking 7/25/2013
#1993Dream About Pay it Forward Ice Cream 7/24/2013
#1992The Cookie Monster Is a Less Considerate Lover Than You'd Think 7/23/2013
#1991TIME TRAVELLING FUTURE EDWARD SNOWDEN ANNOUNCES NSA IS BITCHIN' 7/22/2013
#1990Sean Hannity And Preventing Rapes With Guns, Because That Works 7/21/2013
#1989Can I Be Offended When a 20 Year Old Hasn't Seen Pulp Fiction? 7/20/2013
#1988Not Giving Your Lady Orgasms Makes You an Asshole 7/19/2013
#1987Random Thoughts 205 7/18/2013
#1986A Few Thoughts on David Sedaris 7/17/2013
#1985Random Thoughts 204 7/16/2013
#1984AMERICA SHOCKED AT LACK OF RIOTS AFTER GEORGE ZIMMERMAN NOT GUILTY VERDICT 7/15/2013
#1983My Reaction to the George Zimmerman "Not Guilty" Verdict 7/14/2013
#1982Killing Instruments in Movies Tend to Make the Movie Different 7/13/2013
#1981I Was Terrified of the Biblical Armageddon 7/12/2013
#1980Sunblock in the Eyes at Coachella 7/11/2013
#1979Random Thoughts 203 7/10/2013
#1978"Think Twice, Because I Won't" 7/09/2013
#1977HOROSCOPE: SOMEHOW GUY WITH HILARIOUS SPEECH IMPEDIMENT NOW YOUR BOSS 7/08/2013
#1976These Are Electric Bees 7/07/2013
#1975Title Tracks are Annoying 7/06/2-013
#1974The Televangelist With the Really Helpful Advice 7/05/2013
#1973THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT AMERICA FOR INDEPENDENCE DAY 2013! 7/04/2013
#1972Surprises Are Always in Store At Wal-Mart 7/03/2013
#1971Gay Blowjobs 7/02/2013
#1970When Infants Catch a Cold 7/01/2013
#1969 My First Minute of No Laughs As An Open Mic Comic 6/28/2013
#1968Squirting Porn 6/27/2013
#1967Howard the Duck Was a Fucking Confusing Movie 6/26/2013
#1966"I Could Care Less" 6/25/2013
#1965Trees Sometimes Look Like Genitals 6/24/2013
#1964Unmatched Enthusiasm 6/23/2013
#1963My Friend Dummy Dummsmith And Her New Money Opportunity 6/22/2013
#1962The Overuse of the Word "Racist" 6/21/2013
#1961A Girl I Saw on Her Nude Webcam 6/20/2013
#1960Dream About Sarah Palin and Her TV Network 6/19/2013
#1959Random Thoughts 202 6/18/2013
#1958NATION'S FATHERS REALIZE THEY DO NOT DESERVE A DAY 6/17/2013
#1957Nirvana One Of the Worst Bands of the 90s? 6/16/2013
#1956Some Thoughts on the Star Trek 2009 Reboot 6/9/2013
#1955Random Thoughts 201 6/8/2013
#1954Hypothetical Question About a Genie Who Charges Money 6/7/2013
#1953The Mean Mugging at the Grocery Store 6/6/2013
#1952Arguing Specifics with Dumb Kids 6/5/2013
#195110 Things Video Games Need to Fix 6/4/2013
#1950WAYS TO BEAT THE HEAT SUMMER 2013! 6/3/2013
#1949The Boston Marathon Bombing 4/15/2024
#1948Nobody Wants Their Kids to Listen to Hip-Hop 4-14-2013
#1947A Few Thoughts on Gender Identity in Insults 4/7/2013
#1946HILARIOUS APRIL FOOL PRANKS! 4/1/2013
#1945"You're My Angel", a Song By Aerosmith, a Popular Band 3/26/2013
#1944The Perfect Solution to Remaining Calm Under Tense Situations 3/25/2013
#1943Tax Returns 3/24/2013
#1942I Saw A Little Person Today 3/23/2013
#1941Two Thoughts on the New Pope 3/22/2013
#1940A Male Feminist's Conundrum 3/21/2013
#1939Why Would Somebody Hate Rock Band? 3/20/2013
#1938"Damn, Them Titties Be Thuggin'" 3/19/2013
#1937BATMAN ALSO NOT A FAN OF PUBLIC URINATION 3/18/2013
#1936Which of these is Really Racist? 3/17/2013
#1935Random Thoughts 200 3/9/2013
#1934Dream About a Dog I Didn't Know What to Do With 3/8/2013
#1933A Birthday Cake Bought With a Welfare Check! 3/7/2013
#1932That Awkward Moment When the Chatter At the Restaurant Dies 3/6/2013
#1931The World Has 200 More Billionaires in 2013 than in 2012 3/5/2013
#1930Crosses Are Lame Weapons Against Vampires 3/4/2013
#1929Pennies On Somebody's Lawn 3/3/2013
#1928Religious Zealots are Not The Same As Atheist Zealots 3/2/2013
#1927...One More Thought On Quentin Tarantino 3/1/2013
#1926Django Unchained and the N-Word 2/28/2013
#1925That Kid That Made Fun of My Shoes in Grade School 2/27/2013
#1924How to be a Stand Up Comic 2/26/2013
#1923My Very First Stand-Up Open Mic Part 4 2/25/2013
#1922My Very First Stand-Up Open Mic Part 3 2/24/2013
#1921My Very First Stand-Up Open Mic Part 2 2/23/2013
#1920My Very First Stand-Up Open Mic Part 1 2/22/2013
#1919The People I Know Are Not Comedy Well Wishers 2/21/2013
#1918The People I Know Are Not Comedy Well Wishers 2/20/2013
#1917Random Thoughts 199 2/19/2013
#1916Random Thoughts 198 2/18/2013
#1915Not Talking To Your Kid Because They're Gay 2/17/2013
#1914Random Thoughts 197 2/16/2013
#1913Random Thoughts 196 2/15/2013
#1912IDIOT TEENAGER CLAIMS TO ACTUALLY LIKE VALENTINE'S DAY 2/14/2013
#1911How I Felt Every Valentine's Day in Grade School 2/13/2013
#1910Random Thoughts 195 2/12/2013
#1909MISSISSIPPI CELEBRATES BLACK HISTORY MONTH BY MENTIONING IT'S BLACK HISTORY MONTH 2/11/2013
#1908The Sports Double Standard in the "Violent Media" Debate 2/10/2013
#1907Random Thoughts 194 2/9/2013
#1906Review of Django Unchained 2/8/2013
#1905The Dumb Fights Kids Have 2/7/2013
#1904Dream About a Demon House 2/6/2013
#1903 Gun Owners Never Seem to Understand Why Guns are Bad 2/5/2013
#1902FEBRUARY 4TH, TWENTY-THIRTEEN 2/4/2013
#1901Child Nudity Isn't Actually Illegal, But That Doesn't Mean You Don't Feel Creepy 2/3/2013
#19001900TH ENTRY! THE BEST OF THE PREVIOUS 100! 2/2/2013
#1899"Who's That Weirdo In Our Old Photo?" 2/1/2013
#1898The Pennies On That Guy's Lawn 1/31/2013
#1897Hentai Of Your Favorite Characters Can Get Fucking Weird 1/30/2013
#1896Magic is Not Real, And You Are Stupid For Thinking So 1/29/2013
#1895FAITH BASED POLICE DEPARTMENT ORDERS THAT ALL OFFICERS WEAR VESTS MADE OF BIBLES 1/28/2013
#1894You Could Convince Me of Psychic Abilities, Part 2 1/27/2013
#1893You Could Convince Me of Psychic Abilities 1/26/2013
#1892A Few Thoughts on The Albuquerque Family Slaying By A 15 Year Old 1/25/2013
#1891Dream About An Animated Movie Starring Kurt Cobain 1/24/2013
#1890Getting Your Review At Work Is Usually Bullshit 1/23/2013
#1889Free Parking Means Free Parking 1/22/2013
#1888SEX ED TEACHER HEARS FIRST STUPID QUESTION 1/21/2013
#1887A Well Refined Palate 1/20/2013
#1886The Brand New AK-48! 1/19/2013
#1885"But Would You Want To Ban Cars As Well???" 1/18/2013
#1884I Want To Live In A World Where I Can Never Stop Shooting Bad Guys 1/17/2013
#1883Ryan Gosling, Goddamn 1/16/2013
#1882A Secret About Me 25 1/15/2013
#1881The Catwoman Rager 1/14/2013
#1880Dinosaurs!! In The Garden of Eden! 1/13/2013
#1879My Ten Year Old's Pictures on Her Camera 1/12/2013
#1878Quartered Pig Tattoo 1/11/2013
#1877Circumcised Penises 1/10/2013
#1876That Bitch Gave You The Clap 1/9/2013
#1875I'm Going Grey 1/8/2013
#1874HOROSCOPE: AXEL ROSE LOOKALIKE DEPRESSES THE SHIT OUT OF YOU 1/7/2013
#1873An Overheard Conversation About Christmas in Schools 1/6/2013
#1872Random Thoughts 193 1/5/2013
#1871"First World Problems" 1/4/2013
#1870Random Thoughts 192 1/3/2013
#1869Automated Graphical Smileys 1/2/2013
#1868NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR 2013! 1/1/2013
#1867My Earliest Memory of Being Terrified From a Movie 12/31/2012
#1866Hypothetical Question About A Post Apocalyptic World 12/30/2012
#1865NEW CHRISTMAS SONGS I WROTE 2012! 12/24/2012
#186450 Minutes of Non-Stop Music! 12/6/2012
#1863Classic Sesame Street 12/5/2012
#1862Sliver's Last Days 12/4/2012
#1861You Cannot Describe a Twinkie 11/17/2012
#1860The 24 Hour Long Bus Trip 11/16/2012
#1859Liberals Are The Problem With This Country 11/15/2012
#1858Random Thoughts 191 11/14/2012
#1857Random Thoughts 190 11/13/2012
#1856STEVIE WONDER DISCOVERS OBAMA'S BLACKNESS NOT A JOKE 11/12/2012
#1855Sarah Palin Before and After 11/11/2012
#1854Random Thoughts 189 11/10/2012
#1853The One Local Political Story Worth Mentioning 11/9/2012
#1852How In The World Did They Actually Think Romney Was Going to Win? 11/8/2012
#1851A Few Words on the Re-Election of Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States 11/7/2012
#1850ROMNEYBOT WONDERS WHY HE WAS PROGRAMMED TO FEEL PRESIDENTIAL 11/6/2012
#1849Big Screen CRT TVs Might as Well Be Garbage 11/5/2012
#1848See, Superman couldn't see Invisible Man having sex with Wonder Woman. Get it?? 11/4/2012
#1847I Was Afraid I DIdn't Like Black People 11/3/2012
#1846Ann Coulter and the R-Word 11/2/2012
#1845The Best Thing About Surviving the Apocalypse 11/1/2012
#1844BLACK GUY FORCED TO DRESS AS PIMP FOR HALLOWEEN YET AGAIN 10/31/2012
#1843Halloween Costume Ideas 2012! 10/30/2012
#1842The Wachowskis Fascinate Me 10/29/2012
#1841What I Think of Mitt Romney 10/28/2012
#1840The Two Fifteen Year Old Girls at The Avengers 10/27/2012
#1839I Have a Friend Who is Smitten With a Dirtbag 10/26/2012
#1838Random Thoughts 188 10/25/2012
#1837A Secret About Me 24 10/24/2012
#1836Random Thoughts 187 10/23/2012
#1835A Secret About Me 23 10/22/2012
#1834A Secret About Me 22 10/21/2012
#1833A Secret About Me 21 10/20/2012
#1832A Guy Who I thought Might be Gay 10/19/2012
#1831Things I Used to Believe 8 10/18/2012
#1830Canadian Thanksgiving 10/17/2012
#1829The Kid Who Called His Band "Renob" 10/16/2012
#1828Don or Dawn? 10/15/2012
#1827Copyrighting Your Creation By Mailing it to Yourself 10/14/2012
#1826M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN TOTALLY DOING IT ON PURPOSE 10/13/2012
#1825DEAD KEYBOARDIST EASILY REPLACED BY MACBOOK PRO 10/12/2012
#1824EIGHT LANDSCAPERS MURDERED IN TOTALLY JUSTIFIED KILLING SPREE 10/11/2012
#1823HOROSCOPE: THE SIGHT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S SISTER GIVING HER A MASSAGE WILL INEXPLICABLY TURN YOU ON 10/10/2012
#1822WORLD'S YOUNGEST DOCTOR SUED FOR ELEVEN COUNTS OF MALPRACTICE 10/9/2012
#1821DAVID BECKHAM DIVORCES VICTORIA FOR BEING LIKE HITLER, EXCEPT WITHOUT THE ANTI-SEMITICISM 10/8/2012
#1820REAL LIFE BAD GUY DOES NOT HAVE AWESOME DEATH 10/7/2012
#1819The First Presidential Debate, Obama V. Romney 10/6/2012
#1818Fuck You, Conservatives Part 2 9/26/2012
#1817Fuck You, Conservatives 9/25/2012
#1816The Word "Humanist" Is Full of Crap 9/24/2012
#1815HOROSCOPE: YOUR AUTISTIC BROTHER HAS SENT EVERYONE PICTURES OF HIS PENIS 9/23/2012
#1814Random Thoughts 186 9/22/2012
#1813Random Thoughts 185 9/21/2012
#1812What if God Won't Let Me Warn My Atheist Wife When I Die? 9/20/2012
#1811Review of The Hunger Games 9/19/2012
#1810Truth or Dare Always, Always Turned Out This Way 9/18/2012
#1809First World Problems 9/17/2012
#1808ROLLING STONE PUBLISHES YET ANOTHER FUCKING BOB DYLAN ARTICLE 9/16/2012
#1807Your Average American Would Not Pass a Citizenship Test 9/10/2012
#1806Coming Home Early in the Middle of the Night 9/9/2012
#1805Some Guys Like Crazy Girls Cuz They Like To Fuuuuuuuuck! 9/8/2012
#1804Zelda Zombies Are Far Too Horrible For My Nine Year Old 9/7/2012
#1803Kids and Choices in Games 9/6/2012
#1802Random Thoughts 184 9/6/2012
#1801A Facebook Convo About Labor Day 9/5/2012
#18001800TH ENTRY! THE BEST OF THE PREVIOUS 100! 9/4/2012
#1799LOCAL GRANDFATHER BRIEFLY CONSIDERS GLOBAL WARMING 8/26/2012
#1798Random Thoughts 183 8/25/2012
#1797My Brain Would Be Delicious 8/24/2012
#1796PC Gamers Are Worse than Pedophiles 8/23/2012
#1795Non-Racist Racist Jokes 8/22/2012
#1794A Message To Rep. Todd Akin 8/21/2012
#1793Random Thoughts 182 8/20/2012
#1792NATIONS' WOMEN STILL GETTING TRAMP STAMPS DESPITE DEROGATORY NAME 8/19/2012
#1791My Credit Card Was Stolen 8/18/2012
#1790Patriotic Beer Cozies 8/17/2012
#1789Kristen Stewart's Sullen, Far-Off Gaze 8/16/2012
#1788Gays For Chick-Fil-A 8/15/2012
#1787The Tupac Hologram Situation 8/14/2012
#1786ALTERNATE UNIVERSE BARACK OBAMA VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED HOW LONG TO TAKE AWAY AMERICA'S GUNS 8/13/2012
#1785Andy Kaufman And Another Famous Prankster 8/12/2012
#1784Nobody Wonders Why Brown People Weren't Packing 8/11/2012
#1783My idea for a new dating show 8/10/2012
#1782The Scorpion in the sink 8/9/2012
#1781MTV was hardcore porn 8/8/2012
#1780Target has been reading my blog 8/7/2012
#1779WAL-MART GLAD CHICK-FIL-A TAKING ALL THE HATE OFF OF THEM 8/6/2012
#1778FUN, FASCINATING FACTS ABOUT YOUR CITY'S COMPTROLLER 8/5/2012
#1777Why Can't There Be Limits to Your Second Amendment Rights? 8/4/2012
#1776Hypothetical Question About Dying With Your Loved One 8/3/2012
#1775Things I Used to Believe 8/2/2012
#1774A Secret About Me 20 8/1/2012
#1773The Shadow Knows Sexual Assault 7/31/2012
#1772The Closest I Ever Came to Enjoying Sports 7/30/2012
#1771PSYCHOLOGISTS DETERMINE MASS MURDERER TO BE COMPLETE ASSHOLE 7/29/2012
#1770Hypothetical Question About Meeting Your Third Favorite Singer 7/28/2012
#1769We All Have Gay Friends 7/27/2012
#1768Oh, and One More Thing... 7/26/2012
#1767Modern Conspiracy Theorists Part Three: The Things You Should Actually Be Worried About 7/25/2012
#1766Modern Conspiracy Theorists Part Two: Obama Did it to Take Away Your Guns 7/24/2012
#1765Modern Conspiracy Theorists Part One: The Batman Massacre Conspiracy 7/23/2012
#1764DEAR PENTHOUSE FORUM 7/22/2012
#1763Another Thought on "The Batman Massacre" 7/21/2012
#1762A Few Thoughts on What Will Be Unfortunately Referred to as "The Batman Massacre" 7/20/2012
#1761Straight Talkin' Straight Talkers 7/19/2012
#1760Political Lies 7/18/2012
#1759It Was Super Difficult to Find A Picture For Yesterday 7/17/2012
#1758NOBODY KNOWS WHAT BLACK GIRL AT COMIC CON IS DRESSED AS 7/16/2012
#1757Random Thoughts 181 7/15/2012
#1756A Few Details Lost in Translation in Foreign Movies 7/14/2012
#1755Secret About Me 19 7/13/2012
#1754"Thank You, Mario! But Our Princess is in Another Castle!" 7/12/2012
#1753Dream About Louis C.K. 7/11/2012
#1752Let Me Geek Out About Carrie Brownstein For a Minute, Okay? 7/10/2012
#1751The Lady Taking Her Flag Down After Independence Day Week 7/9/2012
#1750HOROSCOPE: OFFENSIVE COWORKER HAS ASKED YOU TO STOP TALKING ABOUT POLITICS 7/8/2012
#1749Storage Wars is Depressing 7/7/2012
#1748Random Thoughts 180 7/6/2012
#1747I Don't Say "I Love America" Just to Say it 7/5/2012
#174615 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT AMERICA ON INDEPENDENCE DAY 2012! 7/4/2012
#1745Mormons Need To Own That Shit 7/3/2012
#1744The NRA's Scare Tactics About Obama 7/2/2012
#1743OBAMA CRITICIZED FOR WASTING FINAL WISH ON WORLD SERIES WIN FOR CUBS 7/1/2012
#1742I Found a Floppy Disk On The Way Home 6/30/2012
#1741Oreo Supports Love 6/29/2012
#1740Obamacare Has Been Vindicated 6/28/2012
#1739I'm Not Fundametally Angry 6/27/2012
#1738Black Christians Don't Make Sense 6/26/2012
#1737SAMURAI JUST PASSING THROUGH RIDS TOWN OF NINJAS 6/25/2012
#1736My Friend Eric on Me Wedding Day 6/24/2012
#1735I Hope The Mothball People Know Their Days Are Numbered 6/23/2012
#1734Story Idea: The Handicapped Are Magically Being Cured After a Horrible Tragedy 6/22/2012
#1733Looks Like I Gotta Give Props to Joel Osteen 6/21/2012
#1732Story Idea: First Contact with Aliens 6/20/2012
#1731I'm ashamed I ever enjoyed Garfield 6/19/2012
#1730Intelligent Life on Other Planets 6/18/2012
#1729The Difference Between Bad News and Politics 6/17/2012
#1728Batman's Hobby 6/16/2012
#1727Dream About Re-Writing the Movie "Precious" 6/15/2012
#1726MC Hammer's Rapping Cred 6/14/2012
#1725Cutting Off the Phone Line in Movies 6/13/2012
#1724Foot Fetishists Are Pushy 6/12/2012
#1723Black People Sometimes Have Weird Names 6/11/2012
#1722Game Shows Are Weird 6/10/2012
#1721The Cast of Alien Vs The Cast of Prometheus 6/9/2012
#1720Yo Mamma Joke #4 6/8/2012
#1719THINGS TO DO SUMMER 2012! 6/7/2012
#1718Random Thoughts 179 6/6/2012
#1717Home Alone: The Pizza Guy's Nightmare 6/5/2012
#1716The Mother Who Left Who Left Her Infant on Top of the Car 6/4/2012
#1715The Funniest Line in All of Film 6/3/2012
#1714Yo Mamma Joke #3 6/2/2012
#1713Drama From Different Points in Your Life 6/1/2012
#1712Yo Mamma Joke #2 5/31/2012
#1711Landscaping is the Worst Part of Living in a House 5/30/2012
#1710The Desperation of The Victoria's Secret Wank 5/29/2012
#1709Posting Pictures Of Yourself on Facebook in a Bikini 5/28/2012
#1708Yo Mamma Joke #1 5/27/2012
#1707What It's Like Inside a Women's Prison 5/26/2012
#1706Blowing Up Dudes in Video Games, And The Eff Word 5/25/2012
#1705Patriarchal Societies Stink, Literally and Metaphorically 5/24/2012
#1704The Only Sure-Fire Way to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse 5/23/2012
#1703Hypothetical Question About Super Intelligent Babies 5/22/2012
#1702What It Will Be Like When I'm Old And Have Alzheimer's 5/21/2012
#1701Catching Up On A Pair of Awesome Boobs From Fifteen Years Ago 5/11/2012
#17001700th ENTRY! THE BEST OF THE PREVIOUS 100 ENTRIES! 5/8/2012
#1699Grown Ups Who Don't Read For Grown-Ups 5/3/2012
#1698Chips in Our Brains Are Science Fiction 5/2/2012
#1697Men Who Bitch About Feminism 5/1/2012
#1696Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged 2/20/2012
#1695A Conversation About Cute Kids 2/16/2012
#1694"Even In The Case of Rape Or Incest!" 2/15/2012
#1693TIPS TO GET YO DICK WET THIS VALENTINE'S DAY! 2/14/2012
#1692I'm Going to Defend Obama, I'm Just Not Proud of It 2/13/2012
#1691The Term White Trash 2/12/2012
#1690The Terror of the FUCKSAW!!! 2/11/2012
#1689Random Thoughts 178 2/10/2012
#1688Stevie Wonder's "Part Time Lover" 2/9/2012
#1687The Secret Mormon LDS Code 2/8/2012
#1686Putting Together The Goddamned Bike Made Me Less Than a Man 2/7/2012
#1685Urinalysis on Welfare Recipients is Fair Because Poor People Are All On Drugs! 2/6/2012
#1684"Back in My Day We Got Bullied And We're Better For It!" 2/5/2012
#1683NEW CHRISTMAS SONGS I WROTE! 12/25/2011
#1682REASONS TO BE THANKFUL 2011! 12/11/2011
#1681When Babies Decide to Talk 12/10/2011
#1680Why Can't Adults Ask Strangers To Be Friends? 12/9/2011
#1679Texas Education is Different Than in Other States 12/8/2011
#1678The Somewhat Slow Six at Target 12/7/2011
#1677Nice Guy With a Nasty Surprise 12/6/2011
#1676POLARITY 361 12/5/2011
#1675What The Hell I've Been Up to For the Past Three Months 12/4/2011
#1674Random Thoughts 177 9/10/2011
#1673Dream of Being a Naked Superhero 9/9/2011
#1672Random Thoughts 176 9/8/2011
#1671Fuck Rick Perry, From A Texan 9/7/2011
#1670ONLY ONE MAN CAN SAVE AMERICA: ADDENDUM! 9/6/2011
#1669POLARITY 360 9/5/2011
#1668ONLY ONE MAN CAN SAVE AMERICA, AND HE NEEDS TO COME OUT OF RETIREMENT TO DO IT 9/4/2011
#1667"Easy-Peasy-Japanesey!" 9/3/2011
#1666My Eight Year Old Daughter Came Out As An Atheist 9/2/2011
#1665"I AM NOT IMPRESSED WITH YOUR VILE TRICKS, TEMPTRESS." 9/1/2011
#1664The Problems With Digital Copies of Magazines 8/31/2011
#1663Random Thoughts 175 8/30/2011
#1662POLARITY 359 8/29/2011
#1661MAN WITH WORLD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL COCK DEAD AT 35 8/28/2011
#1660The Long, Agonizing Process of Taking Group Photos In the Year 2012 8/27/2011
#1659Cell phones really are ridiculous 8/26/2011
#1658"My parents were extremely religious, so..." 8/25/2011
#1657Random Thoughts 174 8/24/2011
#1656That's Perverted! 8/23/2011
#1655Pet Peeve: The Windows 7 Recyle Bin 8/22/2011
#1654Trash Can Guilt 8/21/2011
#1653I Don't Predict A Riot 8/20/2011
#1652Random Thoughts 173 8/19/2011
#1651Hypothetical Question About a Package Delivered to Your Home 8/18/2011
#1650Dream About the Swear Jar App 8/17/2011
#1649The States I've Lived In 8/16/2011
#1648Pet Peeve: The Word "Literally" 8/15/2011
#1647The Flaws of Sci-Fi Teleportation 8/14/2011
#1646My Night Dressed To Go To Rocky Horror 8/13/2011
#1645The Blind Couple With A Kid 8/12/2011
#1644Dream About My New Job at Green.com 8/11/2011
#1643My Friend Who Hadn't Heard of Fox News 8/10/2011
#1642Random Thoughts 172 8/9/2011
#1641Random Thoughts 171 8/8/2011
#1640 COMEDIAN FROM 2000 WANTS TO KNOW IF CALISTA FLOCKHART STILL SKINNY 8/7/2011
#1639Grudge Fucking a Hated Celebrity 8/6/2011
#1638The Girl With the Pro-Life Shirt 8/5/2011
#1637That Facebook Friend I Might Have Put In Therapy 8/4/2011
#1636Overhead Between Two Alcoholics 8/3/2011
#1635"Do You Think It's Okay For Men To Play Video Games In Their Thirties and Over?" 8/2/2011
#1634HOW TO FINISH UP THE SUMMER SEASON DURING AUGUST! 8/1/2011
#1633HOROSCOPE: UNPLEASANT WOMAN WITH GIRLSTACHE SOMEHOW PREGNANT AGAIN 7/17/2011
#1632An Atheist Moral Quandry 7/16/2011
#1631Another Win For Evolution 7/15/2011
#1630Recurring Dream Imagery About Public Bathrooms 7/14/2011
#1629Is that really a thing jazz fans say? 7/13/2011
#1628The Dilemna Of Fox News in Public 7/12/2011
#1627The Way Most People Consume Pop Culture 7/11/2011
#1626HIGH SCHOOL MOURNS AFTER THE TRAGIC DEATH OF TOTALLY HOT POPULAR GIRL" 7/10/2011
#1625The Long Strange Trip Of Getting The Tires Replaced 7/9/2011
#1624SUMMER 2011 MOVIE PREDICTIONS PART 3! 7/8/2011
#1623Sharks Are Not Very Intelligently Designed 7/7/2011
#1622The Arizona Interactive Science Museum Trip 7/6/11
#1621Satan is a Real Person 7/5/2011
#1620Super Nice Christian Invites On The Fourth Of July 7/4/2011
#1619Random Thoughts 170 6/17/2011
#1618Lack of Rules Kills Art 6/16/2011
#1617<Hypothetical Question About the Shoes Thrown At Bush 6/15/2011
#1616Smokers Past the Age of 30 Always Started Young 6/14/2011
#1615Not Paying Attention To Critics Makes No Sense 6/13/2011
#1614REJECTED HEADLINES 2 6/12/2011
#1613Hanging Out With Superman 6/11/2011
#1612ICP Vs Marilyn Manson 6/10/2011
#1611Fat People Aren't So Bad 6/9/2011
#1610My Misconception About Sex When I Was a Kid 6/8/2011
#1609Random Thoughts 169 6/7/2011
#1608Random Thoughts 168 6/6/2011
#1607144,000 IN ISRAEL RAPTURED, JUST LIKE BIBLE SAYS 6/5/2011
#1606My Friend From the Future 6/4/2011
#1605The Problem I Have With British Television Comedy 6/3/2011
#1604SUMMER 2011 MOVIE PREDICTIONS PART 2! 6/2/2011
#160315 REJECTED HEADLINES 6/1/2011
#1602THINGS TO DO THIS SUMMER! 5/31/2011
#1601POLARITY 358 5/30/2011
#16001600th ENTRY! THE BEST OF THE PREVIOUS 100 ENTRIES! 5/29/2011
#1599DEAD MOTHER HAUNTS HOUSE BY DISAPPROVING OF SON'S PORN COLLECTION 5/8/2011
#1595"Seriously, Whole Foods Employee, What the Fuck Is This Shit?" 5/7/2011
#1594SUMMER 2011 MOVIE PREDICTIONS PART 1 5/6/2011
#1593YOSHIMI BATTLES THE PINK ROBOTS: THE MOVIE 3/21/2011
#1592What Porno Would Be Like If It Came Directly From My Fantasies 3/20/2011
#1591Posing in Front of A National Tourist Spot For a Shitty Photo 3/19/2011
#1590The Guy Who Got Into a Whole Lotta Money 3/18/2011
#1589Adults Who Believe in Ghosts 3/17/2011
#1588"Another Day In Paradise!" 3/16/2011
#1587Predicting Baby Genders is Not an Exact Science 3/15/2011
#1586All Teenagers Care About Is Their Modern Technology And Their Sexting 3/14/2011
#1585Random Thoughts 167 3/13/2011
#1584Heaven and Hell and How I Find No Comfort In it 3/5/2011
#1583Short Dudes Who Always, Somehow, Win in a Fight 3/4/2011
#1582Circumcised Penises 3/3/2011
#1581Random Thoughts 166 3/2/2011
#1580Making Out Just to Make Out 3/1/2011
#1579POLARITY 357 2/28/2011
#1578Why I Hate Guns 2/27/2011
#157713 Things I Was Up To While I Was Offline 2/13/2011
#1576A Word About Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford's Attempted Assassination 1/9/2011
#1575Fat Chicks You Work With 1/8/2011
#1574Lamaze Classes Are a Scam 1/7/2011
#1573Party Invites From A Facebook Friend 1/6/2011
#1572The Cat Cafe In Tokyo 1/5/2011
#1571Clowns 1/4/2011
#1570POLARITY 356 1/3/2011
#1569BATMAN: A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY 1/2/2011
#1568NEW RESOLUTIONS FOR 2011! 1/1/2011
#1567THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN THE YEAR 2011 12/31/2010
#1566This Didn't Actually Happen to Me, People, It's a Joke 12/30/2010
#1565Hypothetical Question About Movie Star Friends 12/29/2010
#1564I hate it when my plans are foiled by unexpected kindness. 12/28/2010
#1563POLARITY 355 12/27/2010
#1562Hypothetical Question About Being in a Movie 12/26/2010
#1561JUDGE DISMISSES CHARGES OF INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL CONDUCT WITH CHILDREN AGAINST FROSTY THE SNOWMAN 12/25/2010
#1560Obnoxious Lyrics To Your Favorite Christmas Carols 12/24/2010
#1559Petty One-Upmanship, But Satisfying 12/23/2010
#1558The Cold Open To Murder Shows 12/22/2010
#1557What My Daughter Really Thinks of Her Family 12/21/2010
#1556POLARITY 354 12/20/2010
#1555Captain Morgan Catch-Up 12/4/2010
#1554Thong Th-Th-Thong Thong 12/3/2010
#1553Random Thoughts 165 12/2/2010
#1552My Porn Star Name 12/1/2010
#1551POLARITY 353 11/30/2010
#1550A Small Moment in the Middle of the Night With a Dad 11/29/2010
#1549Confounding the Lobster Girl 11/28/2010
#1548Two Black Guys and a Ride From The Sweetest White Girl You've Ever Seen 11/27/2010
#1547Random Thoughts 164 11/26/2010
#1546REASONS TO BE THANKFUL 2010! 11/25/2010
#1545Google Ads Suggests Just Go Ahead and Be a Pervert 8/9/2010
#1544Hypothetical Question About Seeing 8 Seconds Into the Future 7/5/2010
#154321 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT AMERICA ON INDEPENDENCE DAY 2010! 7/4/2010
#1542What Crazy Sci-Fi President Scenario Do We Go After Black President? 6/30/2010
#1541Dream About Writing a Sequel to Fight Club 6/29/2010
#1540The Federal Govt Forced-- Forced!!-- Arizona's Hand into the "Papers Please" Law 6/28/2010
#1539GIRL APPEARING IN PORN NOT ACTUALLY "BARELY LEGAL", "DOING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME", NOR "LATINA" 6/27/2010
#1538A CUTE GIRL GIVES YOU A TUTORIAL ON REAL LIFE 6/6/2010
#1537The Lemonade Stand Analogy Against Socialism Doesn't Work 5/16/2010
#1536TYRELL LO KWON IS KUNG-FU PANTHER!!! 5/15/2010
#1535Hypothetical Question About Alien Contact 5/9/2010
#1534Hypothetical Question About Ray Guns 5/8/2010
#1533Dream About A Car Ride With Eddie Vedder 5/7/2010
#1532Dream About Chinese Simpsons 5/6/2010
#1531A Long, Long Chat About Right Wingers Being Wrong About Everything 5/5/2010
#1530Changing Tastes In Porn 5/4/2010
#1529Who Cares How Ignorant You Are About Illegal Immigrant Issues When You Love America? 5/3/2010
#1528WEIRD PASSAGE IN BIBLE FOUND 5/2/2010
#1527Dream About A Celebrity Drowning 5/1/2010
#1526A Few Observations From a 7 Hour Stay At The Hospital 4/30/2010
#1525Hey! If You Don't Like It, Go to Russia! 4/29/2010
#1524Hypothetical Question About Paying For Sex 4/28/2010
#1523Random Thoughts 163 4/27/2010
#1522POLARITY 352 4/26/2010
#1521HOROSCOPE: YOUR COUSIN MAY BE FLIRTING WITH YOU 4/25/2010
#1520Random Thoughts 162 4/24/2010
#1519Random Thoughts 161 4/23/2010
#1518Review of Avatar 4/22/2010
#1517Hanging Out With Friends of Friends 4/21/2010
#1516Bang! You're Dead! 4/20/2010
#1515Dropping The Flag On the Ground 4/19/2010
#1514Nobody Tries to Be Thick 4/18/2010
#1513Dream About A Song A Mother Sang With Her Daughter 4/17/2010
#1512My 40 Or So Minutes of Chatroulette 4/16/2010
#1511"Wait a second. What's your sign?" 4/15/2010
#1510The Fragile Ego of the Religious Minded 4/14/2010
#1509Wanda Sykes is So Sassy I Wouldn't Know What to Do 4/13/2010
#1508POLARITY 351 4/12/2010
#1507CLAIMS OF BEING "FUCKING DRUNKER THAN SHIT" ACTUALLY "GETTING A DECENT BUZZ" 4/11/2010
#1505My Seinfeld Episode 4/10/2010
#1504Ex-Friends Who Shouldn't Have Any Idea That They Are Ex-Friends 4/9/2010
#1503What It Was Like For Me Going Through Puberty 4/8/2010
#1502A Letter From a Penthouse Forum Knock-Off 4/7/2010
#1501POLARITY 350 4/5/2010
#15001500th ENTRY! THE BEST OF THE PREVIOUS 100 ENTRIES! 4/4/2010
#1499The Criminal's Guide To Telling If Someone Is a Cop 3/23/2010
#1498The Discomfort of "Let Me Pray For You" 3/22/2010
#1497JEFF DUNHAM REVEALS NEW RACIST PUPPETS 3/21/2010
#1496Why I Don't Like Playing "Evil" In Video Games 3/20/2010
#1495Masturbating When You're Married 3/19/2010
#1494Throwing Your Jacket In The Mud For a Lady 3/18/2010
#1493Stay in School, Kids 3/17/2010
#1492Random Thoughts 160 3/16/2010
#1491That Stupid Pro-Life Commercial During the Super Bowl 3/15/2010
#1490WHITE GUY REALISES CRAZY MILITANT BLACK GUY WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING 3/14/2010
#1489Ruminations on the Tiger Woods' Extra Marital Affairs 3/6/2010
#1488Random Thoughts 159 3/5/2010
#1487The Constant State of C- Anger 3/4/2010
#1486Gays in the military are worse for morale than rape. 3/3/2010
#1485What Would We Have to Gain By Lying About Global Warming? 3/2/2010
#1484Dream About Video Games 3/1/2010
#1483POLARITY 349 2/28/2010
#1482FUN WITH CAPTIONS 4 2/27/2010
#1481VALENTINE'S DAY RESPONSIBLE FOR ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST 2/14/2010
#1480 A Rebuttal to Homophobic Religious Nutcases and Statistics They Make Up On The Spot 2/13/2010
#1479Things I Used to Believe 6 2/12/2010
#1478The Irony of Not Choking Someone to Death 2/11/2010
#1477Alternate Punchline for the Herpes Entry 2/10/2010
#1476He Stole From His Mom?? He's the Worst Person Ever! 2/9/2010
#1475The Difference Between "Malfunctioning" and "Dysfunctional" is subtle. 2/8/2010
#1474New Years Resolutions 1 Month, 6 Days Late 2/7/2010
#1473Random Thoughts 158 1/23/2010
#1472Random Thoughts 157 1/22/2010
#1471Thoughts On the 44th President, One Year Later. Part 2 1/21/2010
#1470Thoughts On the 44th President, One Year Later. Part 1 1/20/2010
#1469Porn To The Toilet 1/19/2010
#1468Things I Used To Believe 5 1/18/2010
#1467No, Seriously, Jesus Forgives Me. Trust Me On This One. 1/17/2010
#1466Racism in Science Fiction 1/16/2010
#1465Cruises, Las Vegas, Applebees, and Nightmares 1/15/2010
#1464Hypothetical Question About Time Travel to 1980 1/14/2010
#1463Things I Used To Believe 4 1/13/2010
#1462Random Thoughts 156 1/12/2010
#1461Dream About The Dark Knight chronicles 1/11/2010
#1460Random Thoughts 155 1/10/2010
#1459The Insane Clown Posse Fan 1/09/2010
#1458Suicide Rates During the Holidays 1/08/2010
#1457The 32 Year Old's Loophole 1/07/2009
#1456When are you going to see pictures of the baby?? Well here are freaking pictures of the baby!!! 1/06/2010
#1455Random Thoughts 154 1/05/2010
#1454POLARITY 348 1/04/2010
#1453Dream About Being Mike Tyson 1/03/2010
#1452THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN THE YEAR 2010 1/02/2010
#1451Heralding in the New Year 1/01/2010
#1450Lenore Clarice Josefina Waites 12/27/2009
#1449Teenagers: Not As Cool As They Think 12/15/2009
#1448Sharing Your Vices With Your Parents 12/14/2009
#1447REAL LIFE VILLAIN RAILED BY CRITICS FOR BEING TOO UNSYMPATHETIC 12/13/2009
#1446Things I Used To Believe 3 12/12/2009
#1445Why Don't Good Christians Disassociate Themselves More From Bad Christians? 12/11/2009
#1444So.... That Means You Liked It, Right? 12/10/2009
#1443Seeing Another Expectant Dad... 12/09/2009
#1442A Secret About Me 18 12/08/2009
#1441The Great Mustache Experience 12/07/2009
#1440ENTIRE MUSIC INDUSTRY FOR SALE ON EBAY 12/06/2009
#1439Hypothetical Question About Brain Transplants 12/05/2009
#1438Random Thoughts 153 12/04/2009
#1437The Guy Running Around My Quiet Suburban Neighborhood With A Freakin' Bow And Arrow 12/03/2009
#1436One buh-billion dollars 12/02/2009
#1435Jesus Is Coming! 12/01/2009
#1434POLARITY 347 11/30/2009
#1433Paging Dr. Gorgeous... 11/29/2009
#1432Dream About A Racist Cult Leader's Podcast 11/28/2009
#1431Quick Thought On Abortion 11/27/2009
#1430REASONS TO BE THANKFUL in 2009! 11/26/2009
#1429The Euphoric Bike Riding Guy 11/25/2009
#1428Random Thoughts 152 11/24/2009
#1427POLARITY 346 11/23/2009
#1426I Would Believe in Ghosts Before I Believed in God 11/11/2009
#1425Why I Hate Fake Boobs 11/10/2009
#1424POLARITY 345 11/09/2009
#1423An Anecdote About Stand-Up Comedy 11/08/2009
#1422A Short Anecdote About Lobsters 11/07/2009
#1421Brush Yo Teeth! Brush Yo Mothafuckin Teeth! 11/06/2009
#1420A Thought About President #43 11/05/2009
#141917 TIPS TO SURVIVING THIS TROUBLED ECONOMY! 11/04/2009
#1418Hypothetical Question About Nude Beaches 11/03/2009
#1417Directing A Performance Piece? 11/02/2009
#1416Hypothetical Question About Massage Spas 11/01/2009
#1415GUY DRESSED AS CHILD MOLESTER AT HALLOWEEN PARTY IS LONELY 10/31/2009
#1414Halloween Costume Ideas for 2009! 10/30/2009
#1413"If we allow gay marriage, what's next? Bestiality?" 10/29/2009
#1412Granny Panties 10/28/2009
#1411Random Thoughts 151 10/27/2009
#1410POLARITY 344 10/26/2009
#1409PRESIDENT OBAMA URGES REDO ON NATION'S YOUTH 10/25/2009
#1408A Promise On My Sixth Anniversary 10/24/2009
#1407Women Don't Smell Men's Underwear 10/23/2009
#1406Smelling Steph's Sweater At Work 10/22/2009
#1405FUN WITH CAPTIONS 3 10/21/2009
#1404Hypothetical Question About the Country 10/20/2009
#1403Random Thoughts 150 10/19/2009
#1402Pet Peeve 8 10/18/2009
#1401HOROSCOPE: THIRD EPISODE OF REALITY SHOW SO SHOCKING IT WILL UNRAVEL TIME AND SPACE 10/17/2009
#14001400th ENTRY! THE BEST OF THE PAST 100! 10/16/2009
#1399A Notice to Japan 10/15/2009
#1398FUN WITH CAPTIONS 2 10/14/2009
#1397FUN WITH CAPTIONS 1 10/13/2009
#1396POLARITY 343 10/12/2009
#1395DOZENS OF HEALTH INSURANCE EXECUTIVES COMMIT SUICIDE AFTER REALIZING HOW EVIL THEY ARE 10/11/2009
#1394Ask Your Doctor About Imitrex 10/10/2009
#1393Today On The Maury Povich Show 10/9/2009
#1392Dream About Michelle Obama 10/8/2009
#1391Turns Out I Actually Don't Hate Sports 10/7/2009
#1390The Kids Are Alright 10/6/2009
#1389Megan Fox's Thumbs 10/5/2009
#1388HOOTERS WAITRESS NOT HOT ENOUGH TO BE STRIPPER BUT STILL WANTS TO BE GROPED BY OLD PERVERTS 10/4/2009
#1387"The bill's 14,000 pages long! Give me a break!!" 10/3/2009
#1386Advice for My Daughters When They Grow Up 10/2/2009
#1385Using the Term "God Bless You" When You Really Mean It But Don't Believe It 10/1/2009
#1384Hypothetical Question: Would You Rather 9/30/2009
#1383Random Thoughts 149 9/29/2009
#1382POLARITY 342 9/28/2009
#1381The State Fair Trip From Hell 9/27/2009
#1380ON-LINE SLUT ONLY SOMEWHAT SLUTTY IN REAL LIFE 9/26/2009
#1379Things to Expect When You Are Expecting That Other Parents Won't Tell You About 9/25/2009
#1378I Don't Get the Allure of MILF Porn 9/24/2009
#1377My First Exposure to MTV 9/23/2009
#1376Nerdy Question About Superman 9/22/2009
#1375POLARITY 341 9/21/2009
#1374One More Thought On Health Care Reform 9/20/2009
#1373NATION'S YOUTH DEFINITELY UP TO SOMETHING 9/19/2009
#1372Dream About the Third Batman 9/18/2009
#1371A Few Things I Learned Over the Summer of 2009 Part 4 9/17/2009
#1370A Few Things I Learned Over the Summer of 2009 Part 3 9/16/2009
#1369A Few Things I Learned Over the Summer of 2009 Part 2 9/15/2009
#1368A Few Things I Learned Over the Summer of 2009 Part 1 9/14/2009
#1367HOROSCOPE: LARRY HAGMAN SOMEHOW STILL ALIVE 9/13/2009
#1366Rumpelstiltskin= SPOILARZZ 9/12/2009
#1365The Truth About the Berenstain Bears 9/11/2009
#1364The Truth About Clifford the Big Red Dog 9/10/2009
#1363The Truth About Caillou 9/9/2009
#1362Poop Is Not Better Than Sex 9/8/2009
#1361POLARITY 340 9/7/2009
#1360A PARANOID, DELUSIONAL WOMAN WORRIED GOD IS ALWAYS SPYING ON HER 9/6/2009
#1359SUMMER MOVIES 2009: MY REPORT CARD Part 3! 9/5/2009
#1358SUMMER MOVIES 2009: MY REPORT CARD Part 2! 9/4/2009
#1357SUMMER MOVIES 2009: MY REPORT CARD Part 1! 9/3/2009
#1356Review of District 9 9/2/2009
#1355Pet Peeve 7 9/1/2009
#1354POLARITY 339 8/31/2009
#1353WOMEN FROM THE 90s THAT NEVER GOT NAKED BUT WHOM I WOULD LIKE TO SEE NAKED 8/30/2009
#1352I'm an atheist??!! 8/29/2009
#1351DOUCHEBAG GRADUATES TO FULL-ON ASSHOLE 8/28/2009
#1350Hypothetical Question About Sex Partner Preference 8/27/2009
#1349Mothers Who Want to Have A Huge Amount of Babies 8/26/2009
#1348Things I Used to Believe 2 8/25/2009
#1347POLARITY 338 8/24/2009
#1346FOR SALE: SLIGHTLY BROKEN INTO BATMOBILE 8/23/2009
#1345Nerds Don't Have Sex? 8/22/2009
#1344You Can Tell Republicans Are Bullshitting About Health Care Because Their Arguments Keep Changing 8/21/2009
#1343The Best Way to Conceive 8/20/2009
#1342When People Who Don't Know You Well Don't Know if You're Joking 8/19/2009
#1341Random Thoughts 148 8/18/2009
#1340POLARITY 337 8/17/2009
#1339People Who Don't Mind Warrantless Wiretapping Because They Have Nothing To Hide 8/16/2009
#1338AN AUDIO EXHIBITIONIST RELIEVED OBAMA WANTS TO CONTINUE WARRANTLESS WIRETAPPING 8/15/2009
#1337The Rejection of Intellectualism 8/14/2009
#1336...But in those cases "it was just their time". 8/13/2009
#1335Obama As the Joker 8/12/2009
#1334Dream About a Girl I Met Once or Twice 8/11/2009
#1333POLARITY 336 8/10/2009
#1332A WORD FROM REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN OF MONTANA TED NISWANDER 8/9/2009
#1331Men Who Don't Cry At Movies 8/8/2009
#1330Who Wants America Back? This Guy Does!! 8/7/2009
#1329You Fucking Hated Your Sibling, Stop Denying It 8/6/2009
#1328Dream About Japan 8/5/2009
#1327Random Thoughts 147 8/4/2009
#1326POLARITY 335 8/3/2009
#1325HOROSCOPE: ASPERGERS GIRLFRIEND DEMANDS EXPLANATION TO JOKE 8/2/2009
#1324Random Thoughts 146 8/1/2009
#1323There are no atheists in foxholes? 7/31/2009
#1322Awkward Dad Moments 7/30/2009
#1321A Technicality About Having Sex With Minors 7/29/2009
#1320Hypothetical Question About Sex With Your Worst Enemy 7/28/2009
#1319A Secret About Me 18 7/27/2009
#1318A Short Story About God 7/26/2009
#1317POLARITY 334 7/25/2009
#1316LOCAL WAL-MART FORCED TO CLOSE FROM COMPETITION WITH EVEN LARGER WAL-MART 7/24/2009
#1315Michael Knight Vs. Not Just Ordinary 80s Villains 7/23/2009
#1314I Think I'm The Only One Who Is Satisfied With a Boring Sex Life 7/22/2009
#1313The Certain Uncertainty of Wanting a Threesome 7/21/2009
#1312WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF YOUR JOB WAS LIKE A COP'S JOB 7/20/2009
#1311GARTH BROOKS INTRODUCES CHRIS GAINES TO A NEW GENERATION OF PUSSIES 7/19/2009
#1310Random Thoughts 145 7/18/2009
#1309Japan: Origin of 82% of the World's Weird Shit 7/17/2009
#1308Bruce Wayne Goes to See a Psychiatrist 7/16/2009
#1307Sarah Palin, and the Insanity of What She Represents 7/15/2009
#1306Awkward breaks in conversation concerning Home Alone 7/14/2009
#1305POLARITY 333 7/13/2009
#1304Michael Jackson's Death 7/12/2009
#1303LOCAL RACIST REMOVES ONE RACE FROM HIS HATE LIST 7/11/2009
#1302Hypothetical Question About Moving 7/10/2009
#1301People From Mexico Garage-Saling, Trick-or-Treating 7/9/2009
#13001300th ENTRY! Best of the past 100! 7/8/2009
#1299What is Feminism in 2008? Part 2 7/7/2009
#1298POLARITY 332 7/6/2009
#1297Review of Up 7/5/2009
#129619 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT AMERICA ON INDEPENDENCE DAY! 7/4/2009
#1295GARFIELD GHOST WRITER/ILLUSTRATOR FIRED FOR MAKING FUNNY STRIP 7/3/2009
#1294The Universal Truths of the Bible 7/2/2009
#1293Alternate Punchline for the Kate Winslet's Boobies Entry 7/1/2009
#1292A Contextless Excerpt of an AIM Conversation About Bra Size 6/30/2009
#1291POLARITY 331 6/29/2009
#1290TEENAGED BOY BEGRUDGINGLY WEARS HALF OF "BEST FRIENDS" NECKLACE 6/28/2009
#1289Camel Snus 6/27/2009
#1288Hypothetical Question About Political Attack Ads 6/26/2009
#1287Review of Slumdog Millionaire 6/25/2009
#1286Review of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button 6/24/2009
#1285Random Thoughts 144 6/23/2009
#1284POLARITY 330 6/22/2009
#1283College is Weird 6/21/2009
#1282Being a Guy Listening to Girl Bands 6/20/2009
#1281SWITCH TO DIGITAL TV REVEALED AS CONSPIRACY TO KILL THOUSANDS OF ELDERLY 6/19/2009
#1280"What Would You Do If You Didn't Have a Gun???" 6/18/2009
#1279Dream About A Meeting Interrupted By Nature 6/17/2009
#1278Random Thoughs 143 6/16/2009
#1277POLARITY 329 6/15/2009
#1276MAN HOSPITALIZED AFTER GOING INTO EXTRA CHUNKY ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK 6/14/2009
#1275Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner 6/13/2009
#1274The Only Real Flaw with Democracy 6/12/2009
#1273How to Successfully Get a Girl Into a Threesome 6/11/2009
#1272Animal Cops on Animal Planet Are Depressing and Hilarious 6/10/2009
#1271Things I Used To Believe 1 6/9/2009
#1270POLARITY 328 6/8/2009
#1269Review of Terminator Salvation 6/7/2009
#1268OPRAH DISAPPOINTS OBSESSED FOLLOWERS BY INSISTING SHE HAS NO SINISTER PLANS 6/6/2009
#1267We Thought We'd Lost The Baby 6/5/2009
#1266Good News and Bad News About Heaven 6/4/2009
#1265Knocking Out Quadrupled Parked H3 Meatheads 6/3/2009
#1264Dream About Barbara Streisand 6/2/2009
#1263Random Thoughts 142 6/1/2009
#1262Questionnaires On Your Boss 5/31/2009
#1261I Used To Get Made Fun of Because I Wear Pro-Wings 5/30/2009
#1260WYLD STALLYNS DROPPED FROM THEIR MUSIC LABEL 5/29/2009
#1259The Majority of Americans Believe in Torture 5/28/2009
#1258Random Thoughts 141 5/27/2009
#1257The President and Torture 5/26/2009
#1256POLARITY 327 5/25/2009
#1255Femi-Nazis Shouldn't Ruin Feminism For Everyone 5/24/2009
#1254HOROSCOPE: BRITISH GUY FROM THAT PART OF ENGLAND WITHOUT A CHARMING ACCENT 5/23/2009
#1253Hypothetical Question About Nazis 5/22/2009
#1252Nerd Rage 5/21/2009
#1251Lesbians and the Definition of "Sex" 5/20/2009
#1250Dream About Being Locked in a Mall 5/19/2009
#1249POLARITY 326 5/18/2009
#1248People Always Regret Their Bigotry 20 Years Later 5/17/2009
#1247Someday, In the Future, You'll Be Able to Apply For a Permit to Have Sex in Public 5/16/2009
#1246HORRORSCOPE: SOMEHOW, EVERY GIRL YOU KNOW HAS BEEN RAPED 5/15/2009
#1245Review of X-Men Origins: Wolverine 5/14/2009
#1244The Cosby Show Vs. 7th Heaven 5/13/2009
#1243The Religious Mind and the Word "Choice" 5/12/2009
#1242It Wasn't Really the Sodomite's Fault 5/11/2009
#1241Advice to a Potential Son 5/10/2009
#1240Swollen Pregnant Chick Boobs 5/9/2009
#123912 BLOND CHICKS WHO LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE WIN MISS SWEDEN 2009 5/8/2009
#1238Responding to Anti-Gay Marriage Propaganda 5/7/2009
#1237"That's for making me think you were funny!" 5/6/2009
#1236Random Thoughts 140 5/5/2009
#1235POLARITY 325 5/4/2009
#1234SUMMER 2009 MOVIE PREDICTIONS PART 3! 5/3/2009
#1233SUMMER 2009 MOVIE PREDICTIONS PART 2! 5/2/2009
#1232ANONYMOUS MAKE-UP ARTIST SAD IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS SINCE X-MEN 3 5/1/2009
#1231SUMMER 2009 MOVIE PREDICTIONS PART 1! 4/30/2009
#1230Wanting Attention From Dudes 4/29/2009
#1229Hypothetical Question About Your Favorite Singers 4/28/2009
#1228POLARITY 324 4/27/2009
#1227WORLD'S ZOOS FORCED TO CLOSE POLAR BEAR EXHIBITS AFTER ANOTHER FUCKING IDIOT SCALES FENCE 4/26/2009
#1226Facebook Sucks Balls and is For People Who Suck Balls 4/25/2009
#1225"Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve" 4/24/2009
#1224What Role Does Gender Need to Play in Your Children? 4/23/2009
#1223Cosmo Sometimes Contains Really Important Information 4/22/2009
#1222Dream About An Ocean of Music 4/21/2009
#1221POLARITY 323 4/20/2009
#1220The Problem of An Original Creator 4/19/2009
#1219Break-Up Music 4/18/2009
#1218NO MATTER WHAT EMAIL ADDRESS SATAN TRIES, IT'S ALREADY BEEN TAKEN 4/17/2009
#1217Real-Life Abstinence Only Campaigns are Baffling and Hysterical 4/16/2009
#1216A Secret About Me 17 4/15/2009
#1215POLARITY 322 4/14/2009
#1214PSA to Young Couples 4/13/2009
#1213When You Let Old Women Struggle with Their Stuff For No Reason 4/12/2009
#1212I Don't Want My Teenager to Join a Church Youth Group 4/11/2009
#1211HOLLYWOOD NEEDS NEW YOUNG MIDDLE EASTERN FACE NOW THAT KAL PENN IS GOING TO WASHINGTON 4/10/2009
#1210HOROSCOPE: LIBRA 4/9/2009
#1209Dream About Shitting 4/8/2009
#1208Chicks That Swear Are Sexy 4/7/2009
#1207Wal-Mart = Evil. Starbucks= Meh? 4/6/2009
#1206ABSTINENCE EDUCATION FOR AMERICA'S YOUTH: HERE TO HELP 4/5/2009
#1205Hypothetical Question About the Moon 4/4/2009
#1204Banana Peel Slipping 4/3/2009
#1203The Chris Brown/Rhianna Situation 4/2/2009
#1202INTRODUCING NEW JOLLY RANCHERS EXTREME! 4/1/2009
#1201POLARITY 321 3/31/2009
#12001200th ENTRY! Best of the past 100! 3/30/2009
#1199Review of Watchmen 3/29/2009
#1198Review of Iron Man 3/28/2009
#1197A LOCAL MAN IS KILLED BY HIS FREAKISHLY STRONG ADOPTED TODDLER 3/27/2009
#1196Being Oblivious to Other Parents 3/26/2009
#1195Where Do You Sit When Every Table Has Somebody Sitting There? 3/25/2009
#1194Atheist/ Agnostic Semantics 3/24/2009
#1193Abstinence Works 100% of the Time? 3/23/2009
#1192Your Friends Who Just Want to Talk About Their Kids 3/22/2009
#1191Pet Peeve 6 3/21/2009
#1190HUGH JACKMAN STOPS 15 NINJAS FROM RUINING MOVIE PREMIERE 3/20/2009
#1189The Lesbian That Does Kegels 3/19/2009
#1188Conservatives, Sex Education, and the Myth That it Doesn't Work 3/18/2009
#1187Sex With Gymnasts 3/17/2009
#1186POLARITY 320 3/16/2009
#1185Going Back to Childhood Faves That Don't Live Up 3/15/2009
#1184My Movie Sacred Cow 3/14/2009
#1183ALIENS INVADE, TAKE OVER ONLY ICELAND 3/13/2009
#1182The Worst Movie-Going Experience I've Ever Had 3/12/2009
#1181Walking Like Your Shit Don't Stink 3/11/2009
#1180Hypothetical Question About Your Favorite Zombie 3/10/2009
#1179POLARITY 319 3/9/2009
#1178The Two Eighth Grade Love Birds 3/8/2009
#1177Dream About the First Day of a New Job 3/7/2009
#1176PRIMITIVE MAN DISCOVERS PANCAKES 3/6/2009
#1175A Philisophical Critique of Boondock Saints 3/5/2009
#1174I Get Jealous When I Hear Words I Don't Use 3/4/2009
#1173I've never been to therapy before 3/3/2009
#1172POLARITY 318 3/2/2009
#1171VIEWER TUNING IN HALFWAY THROUGH DATELINE UNSURE IF MAN IS SUPPOSED TO BE GAY 3/01/2009
#1170WITH ONLY ONE MINUTE TO GO, OBAMA LOOKS INTO CROWD, CHOOSES YOU TO HELP HIM TO VICTORY 2/28/2009
#1169Free Will is Not a Universal Truth 2/27/2009
#1168Pet Peeve 5 2/26/2009
#1167A Summary Example of Why I Hated the Show "Friends" 2/25/2009
#1166The Novelty of Living in a Hotel 2/24/2009
#1165POLARITY 317 2/23/2009
#1164Hypothetical Question About the End of the World 2/22/2009
#1163AIRPLANE PILOT SULLIVAN CAUGHT SMOKING MARIJUANA 2/21/2009
#1162Dying with my Wiener Out 2/20/2009
#1161My Daughter and the Idea of Indians 2/19/2009
#1160Magic: The Gathering Geeks Nerding Everything Up 2/18/2009
#1159Black People Like Watermelons and Chicken. Get it? 2/17/2009
#1158POLARITY 316 2/16/2009
#1157Random Thoughts 139 2/15/2009
#1156Being a Peeping Tom Sometimes Takes a While 2/14/2009
#1155TIN FOIL CONSPIRACY THEORIST HAPPY AMERICA ELECTED ITS FIFTH ALIEN PRESIDENT 2/13/2009
#1154Pet Peeve 4 2/12/2009
#1153The "A-H" variant, not the "E-R" variant 2/11/2009
#1152Too Much Porno? 2/10/2009
#1151Chick Flicks Vs. Dude Movies 2/9/2009
#1150I Don't Like Sharing Porn 2/8/2009
#1149ROBERT REDFORD BUYS FIRST BOTTLE OF WISHBONE CAESAR SALAD DRESSING 2/7/2009
#1148User Reviews on the Internet 2/6/2009
#1147Black People love Kool-Aid? Seriously, white people? 2/5/2009
#1146Random Thoughts 138 2/4/2009
#1145Lies You Can Get Away With 2/3/2009
#1144POLARITY 315 2/2/2009
#1143Meeting Indie Musician Andrew Bird 2/1/2009
#1142Hypothetical Question About Marriage 1/31/2009
#1141STUNTMAN DIES DOING WHAT HE LOVED MOST: RUNNING AROUND ON FIRE AND SCREAMING IN AGONY 1/30/2009
#1140T-Shirts With Inside Jokes 1/29/2009
#1139A Secret About Me 16 1/28/2009
#1138Dumb People Don't Even Try to Pretend 1/27/2009
#1137POLARITY 314 1/26/2009
#1136Captain Morgan, Professional Actor 1/25/2009
#1135The Football Fan 1/24/2009
#1134The Craigslist Ad for the Dyke Manservant 1/23/2009
#1133Who Was Jesus Baptized in the Name Of? 1/22/2009
#1132VILE SUPERVILLAIN FEARED THE WORLD OVER RETIRES PEACEFULLY 1/21/2009
#1131Calm Down. President Barack Obama Won't Be Assassinated 1/20/2009
#1130 Thoughts the Day Before Obama's Inauguration Day 1/19/2009
#1129The Ex-Gang Banger Working at Burger King 1/18/2009
#1128The Miracle Fruit Taste Trip 1/17/2009
#1127LOCAL NEWS REPORTS YOUR EIGHT YEAR OLD WILL PROBABLY DOUBLE MURDER YOU 1/16/2009
#1126Review of Boondock Saints 1/15/2009
#1125"You've Done a Good Thing, Jimmy." 1/14/2009
#1124POLARITY 313 1/13/2009
#1123Something You Need to Know to Be a Parent 1/12/2009
#1122The Pick Up Artist Who Doesn't Even Know He's a Pick Up Artist 1/11/2009
#1121Undeniable Proof Your Favorite Rock Star Has Sold His Soul to the Devil 1/10/2009
#1120ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER REMEMBERS BEING THE FIRST PREGNANT MAN 1/9/2009
#1119The Neighbor's Dog 1/8/2009
#1118Being Shirtless Doesn't Make Any Sense 1/7/2009
#1117Random Thoughts 137 1/6/2009
#1116POLARITY 312 1/5/2009
#1115For a Good Time Call Laura. No, Seriously. 1/4/2009
#1114An Aim Conversation About Cell Phones 1/3/2009
#1113CALIFORNIA GRADE SCHOOLS FORCED TO REMOVE SIX WEEK GAY MARRIAGE COURSE FROM CURRICULUM 1/2/2009
#1112Drunk People and Their Shopping Habits on Friday and Saturday Night 1/1/2009
#1111Every Single New Year Always Feels the Same 12/31/2008
#1110What Its Like For a Woman Married to a Geek 12/30/2008
#1109POLARITY 311 12/29/2008
#1108Review of Wall-E 12/28/2008
#1107Review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 12/27/2008
#1106Hypothetical Question About Dogs 12/26/2008
#1105CHRISTMAS WISH FOR NEEDY CHILDREN FUND DISCARDS HUNDREDS OF SENSIBLE WISHES 12/25/2008
#1104The Christmas Eve at Sears Story 12/24/2008
#1103The Playstation 2 Christmas Time Story 12/23/2008
#1102POLARITY 310 12/22/2008
#1101My Favorite Christmas Songs 12/21/2008
#11001100th Entry! Best of the Past 100! 12/20/2008
#1099THIRD BATMAN TO BE DIRECTED BY FLAMBOYANT GAY MAN 12/19/2008
#1098Truth in Advertising on a Guy at Subway 12/18/2008
#1097Random Thoughts 136 12/17/2008
#1096Basically, what I'm saying is, some people just don't know what shame is. 12/16/2008
#1095POLARITY 309 12/15/2008
#1094Little Girls Way Too Comfortable in Front of Their Babysitter 12/14/2008
#1093Pet Peeve 3 12/13/2008
#1092THIS WEEKEND ONLY! ABSOLUTELY NO AUTO SALES! 12/12/2008
#1091A Phone Call From the Girl Last Night... 12/11/2008
#1090Housemoms are Fucking Boring 12/10/2008
#1089Random Thoughts 135 12/09/2008
#1088POLARITY 308 12/08/2008
#1087Ivan and Danny, the Ex-Best-Friends in High School 12/07/2008
#1086Hypothetical Question About Weird Sex Relationships 12/06/2008
#10853 SURVIVORS OF PLANE CRASH FOUND, SMELL FUCKING AWFUL 12/05/2008
#1084Hillary and Bill's Kinky Bedroom Stuff 12/04/2008
#1083Sex With Marilyn Monroe 12/03/2008
#1082Dream About Eating Lunch in China 12/02/2008
#1081POLARITY 307 12/01/2008
#1080I Will Fight You. I Don't Even Care 11/30/2008
#1079The Spiritual Moment at the Henry Doorly Zoo 11/29/2008
#1078MERRIAM-WEBSTER NAMES ITS WORD OF THE YEAR 2008: "PHEW" 11/28/2008
#1077REASONS TO BE THANKFUL in 2008! 11/27/2008
#1076Batweek on The Discovery Channel 11/26/2008
#1075A Secret About Me 15 11/25/2008
#1074POLARITY 306 11/24/2008
#1073Marriage, Happiness, The Meaning of Life 11/23/2008
#1072Trading Practical Sense For Fashion Sense 11/22/2008
#1071GOD PROVEN TO NOT EXIST, RELIGION RECHRISTENS ITSELF "WORLD RELIGIOUS ENTERTAINMENT" 11/21/2008
#1070Webcam Shows with An Unfaithful Friend 11/20/2008
#1069Random Thoughts 134 11/19/2008
#1068The Fortress of Solitude Holographic Dad System 11/18/2008
#1067POLARITY 305 11/17/2008
#1066"You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste the afterlife?" 11/16/2008
#1065The Female Version of Dudes Wearing Sleeveless Vests 11/15/2008
#1064AMERICANS ALREADY DISAPPOINTED IN OBAMA OVER LACK OF CHANGE 11/14/2008
#1063Vanessa's Kidnapped Son 11/13/2008
#1062Batman's Breath 11/12/2008
#106119 ACTUAL Rules to Being a Democrat! By a Democrat! 11/11/2008
#1060POLARITY 304 11/10/2008
#1059Sexy Bee and Sexy Maid 11/09/2008
#1058Bad Naked 11/08/2008
#1057What The News Would Have Been Like Nov. 4th if John McCain Had Won 11/07/2008
#1056Dream About Movie Making 11/06/2008
#1055A Few Words on Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States 11/05/2008
#1054Rebuking the "Rules for Being a Democrat" 11/04/2008
#1053POLARITY 303 11/03/2008
#1052My Last Political Entry Before the 2008 Election 11/02/2008
#1051Fear of Gun-Toting Middle Americans 11/01/2008
#1050Indignant Anti-Halloween Assholes 10/31/2008
#1049A Fear About Barack Obama 10/30/2008
#1048The ACORN Debacle 10/29/2008
#1047Breast Cancer Awareness Month 10/28/2008
#1046POLARITY 302 10/27/2008
#1045My Hackiest Joke 10/26/2008
#1044Dubbing Songs Over Japanese Sexual Assault Videos 10/25/2008
#1043The Sarah Palin Show 10/24/2008
#1042McCain and the Monster He Has Unleashed 10/23/2008
#1041The Glitter Bus 10/22/2008
#1040Random Thoughts 133 10/21/2008
#1039POLARITY 301 10/20/2008
#1038What if Men Had a Period? 10/19/2008
#1037The Streets Will Be Paved with Gold 10/18/2008
#1036Tickles From Dudes 10/17/2008
#1035Cars Breaking Down 10/16/2008
#1034Bill Gates' Awesome Set-up 10/15/2008
#1033The 700 Club is Not a Respectable News Source 10/14/2008
#1032POLARITY 300 10/13/2008
#1031Stupid People Really Should be Told How Stupid They Are 10/12/2008
#1030Review of The Dark Knight 10/11/2008
#1029The College Known as Notre Dame 10/10/2008
#1028Voting for Ideals, Not Politics is Always Dangerous 10/09/2008
#1027The Tax Boogeyman 10/08/2008
#1026Snuggly Ladies 10/07/2008
#1025POLARITY 299 10/06/2008
#1024Pet Peeve 2 10/05/2008
#1023Hypothetical Question About the Consequences of Group Sex 10/04/2008
#1022Review of There Will Be Blood 10/03/2008
#1021The Gay Dark Knight 10/02/2008
#1020Courtney Got Pregnant 10/01/2008
#1019Pictures of my Friend's Naked Girlfriend 9/30/2008
#1018 POLARITY 298 9/29/2008
#1017Celest's First Actual Joke 9/28/2008
#1016Seeds in Fruit-- WTF? 9/27/2008
#1015The Rhetoric of Politicians 9/26/2008
#1014A Complaint About a Certain Kind of Lesbian and a Certain Kind of Dildo 9/25/2008
#1013I Think I Found a Dead Body 9/24/2008
#1012"This is real life, man!!" 9/23/2008
#1011POLARITY 297 9/22/2008
#1010My Idea for Parents with Kids Going Away to College 9/21/2008
#1009A Few Words to the Anti-Abortion Movement 9/20/2008
#1008Scientists on a Glacier and their Free Love 9/19/2008
#1007SUMMER MOVIES: MY REPORT CARD Part 3! 9/18/2008
#1006I Am Going Through Your Pictures on Your Cell Phone 9/17/2008
#1005Majestic Hot Air Balloons Outside My House 9/16/2008
#1004POLARITY 296 9/15/2008
#1003SUMMER MOVIES: MY REPORT CARD Part 2! 9/14/2008
#1002I Caught My Friend's Parents Doing it One Night 9/13/2008
#1001SUMMER PREDICTIONS: MY REPORT CARD Part 1! 9/12/2008
#10001000th Entry! Best of the Past 100! 9/11/2008
#999Kids still like Star Wars. Isn't that something? 9/5/2008
#998POLARITY 294 9/4/2008
#997"If Women Ruled the World, There'd Be No Wars" 8/24/2008
#996The Chat with the 14 Year Old Boy for Digipets 8/23/2008
#995Random Thoughts 132 8/22/2008
#994A Cocky Ego trip at Burger King 8/21/2008
#993Your Best Friend's Little Sister 8/20/2008
#992Random Thoughts 131 8/19/2008
#991A Quick Thought About Tragic Deaths 8/18/2008
#990Random Thoughts 130 8/17/2008
#989A Secret About Me 14 8/16/2008
#988Nirvana: 1. Shitty Early 90's Bands: 0 8/15/2008
#987Dream About Reality Game Shows 8/14/2008
#986OBAMA ANNOUNCES ENTIRE HOPEFUL ADMINISTRATION TO BE COMPRISED OF BLACK PEOPLE 8/13/2008
#985Thinking About School Shootings 8/12/2008
#984Random Thoughts 129 8/11/2008
#983The Dangers of Tampons, Part 2 8/10/2008
#982The Dangers of Tampons, Part 1 8/9/2008
#981Praying in Burger King 8/8/2008
#980Wal-Mart Yokels out in the Midwest 8/7/2008
#979The word Itch vs the word Scratch 8/6/2008
#978Watching a porno when you don't think you're going to be watching a porno. 8/5/2008
#977POLARITY 293 8/4/2008
#976POLARITY 292 7/28/2008
#975My Friend with the Speech Impediment 7/19/2008
#974Offensive, Racist Words? 7/18/2008
#973Which Way Would Superheroes Vote? 7/17/2008
#972A Secret About Me 13 7/16/2008
#971Hypothetical Question About Enslavement 7/15/2008
#970A Secret About Me 12 7/14/2008
#96916 DANGEROUS THINGS THAT I WILL NEVER DO BUT KIND OF SORT OF WANT TO DO 7/13/2008
#968Why Are Gay People Attracted to Who They're Attracted To? 7/12/2008
#967An Early Experience with a Girl 7/11/2008
#966I Hate The Term "Fiancé", As Much as Women Will Disagree with Me 7/10/2008
#965The Animal Kingdom Has Some Cold Blooded Shit 7/09/2008
#964Kids Tell the Cutest Jokes 7/08/2008
#963Alternate Punch Lines for the Nimbus 2000 Entry 7/07/2008
#962Hypothetical Question About Parents 7/06/2008
#961Hypothetical Question About Porno 7/05/2008
#960Fourth of July Entry: 5 Awesome Things About America! 7/04/2008
#959Washing Your hands After Using the Toilet 7/03/2008
#958A Short Skit About a Hobo 7/02/2008
#957A Secret About Me 11 7/01/2008
#956POLARITY 291 6/30/2008
#955NO WINNER ANNOUNCED FOR FUNNIEST ABORTION JOKE CONTEST 6/29/2008
#954Leslie and the Unicorn Broach 6/28/2008
#953Grading in California Schools 6/27/2008
#952Random Thoughts 128 6/26/2008
#951What Happened to the Famous SNLers of My Generation? 6/25/2008
#950If losing weight is going to be a huge trouble, then fuck it. 6/24/2008
#949POLARITY 290 6/23/2008
#948Why Do People Want Me to Talk Down to Them? 6/22/2008
#947Review of Nine Inch Nails, The Slip 6/21/2008
#946I Don't Like Making Chicks Uncomfortable, I Just Wanna Walk Home 6/20/2008
#945The Nicest Guy in the Whole World? 6/19/2008
#944Hypothetical Question About New Pills 6/18/2008
#943Random Thoughts 127 6/17/2008
#942POLARITY 289 6/16/2008
#941Father's Day Entry: BEING A FATHER HAS TOTALLY FUCKING CHANGED MY LIFE 6/15/2008
#940The Thong in the Trashcan 6/14/2008
#939What Do You Think That They'll Notice We Got Wrong in the Future? 6/13/2008
#938Damned if We Do and Damned if We Don't 6/12/2008
#937Hypothetical Question About Piss 6/11/2008
#936Naive Slutty Girls 6/10/2008
#935POLARITY 288 6/09/2008
#934The Vagabond Lifestyle Sounds Kinda Romantic, But... 6/08/2008
#933DOVE'S NEW EXFOLIATING BODY SOAP. IT'S GOT GRIT. 6/07/2008
#932Teenagers Piss Me Off 6/06/2008
#931A Pet Peeve Regarding Boy Bands 6/05/2008
#930Embarrassing Toilet Situations at Work 6/04/2008
#929The Boobies in Titanic 6/03/2008
#928POLARITY 287 6/02/2008
#927Batman Would Be the Suckiest Hero in a Justice League Movie 6/01/2008
#926Yahoo News Front Page Gave Me a Few Thoughts 5/31/2008
#925Hyptothetical Question About Advertising 5/30/2008
#924The People That Had Apparently Never Heard an Ironic Statement Before 5/29/2008
#923Warning: This Entry Contains Frank, Graphic Descriptions of Anal Sex. Parental Discretion is Advised 5/28/2008
#922A Message to New Players of Grand Theft Auto 5/27/2008
#921POLARITY 286 5/26/2008
#920Nobody Likes All Kinds of Music: THE PSA OF FURY 5/25/2008
#919Review of No Country For Old Men 5/24/2008
#918The French Class Substitute Teacher Story 5/23/2008
#917Double Ply Toilet Paper Should be the Minimum Requirement for All Workplace Bathrooms 5/22/2008
#916Banks Are Heinous 5/21/2008
#915Random Thoughts 126 5/20/2008
#914POLARITY 285 5/19/2008
#913The Vagabond Lifestyle is Kinda Romantic 5/18/2008
#912The Catholic Church, a Multi Billion Dollar Corporation 5/17/2008
#911A Story About Vice City 5/16/2008
#910SQUATTER SNOB ONLY STEALS FINEST QUALITY ELECTRICITY 5/15/2008
#909Review of Portishead, Third 5/14/2008
#908If Terminator 2 Was Made in 2008 5/13/2008
#907Mishearing Ice Cube Lyrics 5/12/2008
#906Girls and Their "Geeky" Boyfriends 5/11/2008
#905Are We What We Play? 5/10/2008
#904SUMMER 2008 MOVIE PREDICTIONS PART 3! 5/9/2008
#903Random Thoughts 125 5/8/2008
#902I have a potty mouth that I cannot control 5/7/2008
#901POLARITY 284 5/6/2008
#900900th Entry! Best of the Past 100! 5/5/2008
#899SUMMER 2008 MOVIE PREDICTIONS PART 2! 5/4/2008
#898SUMMER 2008 MOVIE PREDICTIONS PART 1! 5/3/2008
#897The Way Old People React to Me 5/2/2008
#896The New World of Learning a New Word! 5/1/2008
#895Hypothetical Question About Your Body 4/30/2008
#894Random Thoughts 124 4/29/2008
#893POLARITY 283 4/28/2008
#892The 76th Thing Every Man Should Know 4/27/2008
#891Kurt Cobain Didn't Just Get Famous Once He Died 4/26/2008
#889A Toothbrush Revelation 4/25/2008
#888"You're a man, you wouldn't understand." 4/24/2008
#887Global Warming Deniers 4/23/2008
#886A Quick Thought About Beck 4/22/2008
#885POLARITY 282 4/21/2008
#884WINONA RYDER READY TO BE A CELEBRITY AGAIN 4/20/2008
#883Girls Don't Like Pornography? 4/19/2008
#882Indie Rock: Soon to be Co-Opted? 4/18/2008
#881Random Thoughts 123 4/17/2008
#880A Hypothetical Question About Names 4/16/2008
#879POLARITY 281 4/15/2008
#878A Story About a One Hit Wonder Band Found in the Discount Bin 4/13/2008
#877The Best of Price is Right! 4/12/2008
#876Parents are the Worst Creatures in the World 4/11/2008
#875On This Day Whatevers! 4/10/2008
#874Review of Horton Hears a Who! 4/09/2008
#873Your Gay Friend Has an Annoying Habit 4/08/2008
#872POLARITY 280 4/07/2008
#871Random Thoughts 122 3/30/2008
#870Listening to People Tell Their Dreams 3/29/2008
#869Hypothetical Question About Your Soul 3/28/2008
#868An Unofficial Rule at Most Work Places You Can Try Out! 3/27/2008
#867What is Feminism in 2008? 3/26/2008
#866A Dream About Britney Spears 3/25/2008
#865POLARITY 279 3/24/2008
#86415 Facts About the Human Body 3/23/2008
#863My Daughter Asked Me About God 3/22/2008
#862Hypothetical Question About the Future 3/21/2008
#861Hypothetical Question About Drugs 3/20/2008
#860Random Thoughts 121 3/19/2008
#859 Graffiti I Saw on a Bathroom Wall 3/18/2008
#858POLARITY 278 3/17/2008
#85712 Facts About The Irish! 3/16/2008
#856What Wouldn't You Eat For a Million Bucks? 3/15/2008
#855Review of LCD Soundsystem, Sound of Silver 3/14/2008
#854That's It, I'm Sick of Shaved Pubic Hair 3/13/2008
#853Leap Day: Post Mortem 3/12/2008
#852Random Thoughts 120 3/11/2008
#851POLARITY 277 3/10/2008
#850The Story of How I Became a Vegetarian. Briefly. 3/09/2008
#849GOD TO SKIP TIME UNTIL JANUARY TO AVOID NINE MORE MONTHS OF GEORGE BUSH 3/08/2008
#848"Dad! Get the hell out of the photo when we're posing naked!" 3/07/2008
#847The Girl That "Broke Up With Me" 3/06/2008
#846Aborting Because of Gender 3/05/2008
#845The Old Lady With a Thong 3/04/2008
#844POLARITY 276 3/03/2008
#843The Very First Therapy Session Ever 3/02/2008
#842A Hypothetical Question About Money 3/01/2008
#841A Dream About a New Burger At Burger King 2/29/2008
#840I'm Apparently The Guy Who Doesn't Like Touching People 2/28/2008
#839Here is a Cute Photo That I Captioned 2/27/2008
#838Random Thoughts 119 2/26/2008
#837POLARITY 275 2/25/2008
#836Thinking About Having Another Baby 2/24/2008
#835People That Take Up Smoking 2/23/2008
#834Encyclopedias Won't Make Sense in the Future 2/22/2008
#833Tongue Rings 2/21/2008
#832CLONES OF POPULAR DEAD ROCK STARS TO HEADLINE UPCOMING MUSIC FESTIVAL 2/20/2008
#831Be Careful What You Wish For, Cowboy 2/19/2008
#830POLARITY 274 2/18/2008
#829Phil, the Racist and I Didn't Even Know it 2/17/2008
#828Hypothetical Question About Elvis 2/16/2008
#827Smoking Pot While Watching Family Guy??! Wow! 2/15/2008
#826Valentine's Day Entry 2/14/2008
#825Waxing Movie-Nerd About Alien 2/13/2008
#824How About an AIM Conversation About Fetish Balls? 2/12/2008
#823POLARITY 273 2/11/2008
#822Who The Hell Would Read Playboy For the Articles?! 2/10/2008
#821My Crush on a Girl Two Years My Junior 2/09/2008
#820Random Thoughts 118 2/08/2008
#819Why I've Decided to Start Supporting Barack Obama 2/07/2008
#818Random Thoughts 117 2/06/2008
#817Catching Up On This Days! The LONG Edition! 2/05/2008
#816POLARITY 272 2/04/2008
#815Super Bowl Sunday 2/03/2008
#814A Word to the Hispanic Population 2/02/2008
#813What's A B-Side? 2/01/2008
#812A Girl I Know Who Parties to the Point of Absurdity 1/31/2008
#811Mildly Obsessively Compulsed 1/30/2008
#810YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY: PISCES 1/29/2008
#809POLARITY 271 1/28/2008
#808The Judeo-Christian Values of Which Our Country Was Supposedly Founded 1/27/2008
#807The Best Way to Commit Suicide 1/26/2008
#806The Unrated "Dirty" Edition! Let the Wackiness Ensue! 1/25/2008
#805Gay Superpowers Are a Gift From God 1/24/2008
#804What if It's Just a Myth? 1/23/2008
#803POLARITY 270 1/22/2008
#802My Outrage the Day Before Martin Luther King Jr. Day 1/20/2008
#801Myspace Emails I'd Like to Write 1/19/2008
#800800th Entry! Best of the Past 100! 1/18/2008
#799A Hypothetical Question About Faith 1/17/2008
#798One of the Hugest Disappointments Ever 1/16/2008
#797Random Thoughts 116 1/15/2008
#796POLARITY 269 1/14/2008
#795Random Thoughts 115 1/13/2008
#794Black People Aren't Neccesarily Better Musicians Than White People 1/12/2008
#793Five Dollars Was A Lot of Money Back Then 1/11/2008
#792Review of Queens of the Stone Age, Era Vulgaris 1/10/2008
#791My Friends Did it On My Bed 1/09/2008
#790Random Thoughts 114 1/08/2008
#789POLARITY 268 1/07/2008
#788Rejecting Other People's Silly Myths While Embracing Your Own 1/06/2008
#787Random Thoughts 113 1/05/2008
#786Freakishly Huge Families 1/04/2008
#785Faking the Note From Santa 1/03/2008
#784What It's Like When Female Friends Give Me the Cold Shoulder 1/02/2008
#783Happy New Calendar Day! 1/01/2008
#782POLARITY 267 12/31/2007
#781500 Bucks For Scores 12/30/2007
#780The Sex Habits of Gay Men 12/29/2007
#779Drawing Chicks Naked is a Skill, Not a Science 12/28/2007
#778John Kerry in '04 Was Just a Warm-Up For These Monsters 12/27/2007
#777Random Thoughts 112 12/26/2007
#776I Like Christmas Despite its Christmas-ness 12/25/2007
#775POLARITY 266 12/24/2007
#774PITCHFORK NAMES RANDOM BEEP GENERATOR ALBUM OF THE YEAR 12/23/2007
#773Goths Are Weird 12/22/2007
#772Pop Culture Trannies 12/21/2007
#771Watching Computer Techies in The Background of TV Shows 12/20/2007
#770Review of Modest Mouse, We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank 12/19/2007
#769Random Thoughts 111 12/18/2007
#768POLARITY 265 12/17/2007
#767More On This Days. FOR YOU. 12/16/2007
#766Random Thoughts 110 12/15/2007
#765Mountain Dew: The Next Generation 12/01/2007
#764Unicorns are Probably Mean 11/30/2007
#763Review of Radiohead, In Rainbows 11/29/2007
#762Review of Nine Inch Nails, Year Zero 11/28/2007
#761Ronald McDonald Has a Pretty Sweet Gig 11/27/2007
#760POLARITY 264 11/26/2007
#759The Girlie Posters at Spencer's 11/25/2007
#758Random Thoughts 109 11/24/2007
#757Things to be Thankful About This Year 11/23/2007
#756Coining a New Term 11/21/2007
#755Random Thoughts 108 11/20/2007
#754POLARITY 263 11/19/2007
#753A Secret About Me 10 11/18/2007
#752Sesame Street Live Actually Seemed Pretty Cool 11/17/2007
#751Leave Dane Cook Alone 11/16/2007
#750A Dream About Getting My Throat Crushed 11/15/2007
#749The Starbucks Dealer 11/14/2007
#748Dumbledore is Gay. Get over it. 11/13/2007
#747POLARITY 262 11/12/2007
#746One Annoying Thing About Left Pro-Choicers 11/11/2007
#745Birds Are Weird 11/10/2007
#744The Guilt of Watching Your Favorite Dead Porn Star 11/09/2007
#743A Secret About Me 9 11/08/2007
#742Tinkerbell's Halloween Magic 11/07/2007
#741On This Days, Etc 11/06/2007
#740POLARITY 261 11/05/2007
#739Halloween Costume Ideas For Next Year 11/02/2007
#738A Dream About Adam Sandler 10/28/2007
#737Danny The Dopehead Discusses Jenny McCarthey 10/27/2007
#735Random Thoughts 107 10/26/2007
#73447 Words on Stevie Ray Vaughn 10/25/2007
#733That Lady Makes Me Feel like an Idiot 10/24/2007
#732One More ON THIS DAY List For the Books 10/23/2007
#731POLARITY 260 10/22/2007
#730I just don't believe some studies about America's intelligence 10/14/2007
#729I Would Hate Writing Celebrity Profiles 10/13/2007
#728Brushing your teeth, really, is the bare minimum you can do to start your day 10/12/2007
#727The Allure of the Playboy Mansion 10/11/2007
#726The Sorry I Kicked Your Ass Card 10/10/2007
#725The Name of My City 10/9/2007
#724POLARITY 259 10/8/2007
#723Random Thoughts 106 10/7/2007
#722A Dream About Tom Cruise 10/6/2007
#721Your Horoscope for Today: TAURUS 10/5/2007
#720A Question About the Catholic Faith 10/4/2007
#719Your Horoscope for Today: AQUARIUS 10/3/2007
#718A Secret About Me 8 10/2/2007
#717POLARITY 258 10/01/2007
#716What I Would Do with 4 Million Dollars 9/30/2007
#71572 Virgins Waiting in Heaven? Seriously? 9/29/2007
#714A Few Words About Barack Obama 9/28/2007
#713I Have Run Out of Clever Titles For My ON THIS DAYS 9/25/2007
#712POLARITY 257 9/24/2007
#711The Venomous Snakes in a Can of Peanuts Gag 9/13/2007
#710Random Thoughts 105 9/12/2007
#709Random Thoughts 104 9/11/2007
#708POLARITY 256 9/10/2007
#707Random Thoughts 103 9/9/2007
#706The Least Erotic Masturbation Material in Existence 9/8/2007
#705Building Forts is So Super Gnarly 9/7/2007
#704Getting Max From Saved By The Bell's Autograph 9/6/2007
#703The Dreaded Drink Coozie 9/5/2007
#702Balloon Animals Brighten Everyone's Day 9/4/2007
#701POLARITY 255 9/3/2007
#700700th Entry! The Best of the Past 100! 9/2/2007
#699A Little-Known Fact About The Beatles 8/31/2007
#697The Most Mean-Spirited Customer I Have Ever Dealt With 8/30/2007
#696A Few More Dreams I Wanted to Tell You About 8/29/2007
#695Random Thoughts 102 8/28/2007
#694POLARITY 254 8/27/2007
#693An Open Letter to the Religious Right 8/26/2007
#692A Secret About Me 7 8/25/2007
#691STUDY: IS AMERICA WORKING HARD, OR HARDLY WORKING? 8/24/2007
#690A Hypothetical Question About Taste 8/23/2007
#689Random Thoughts 101 8/22/2007
#688Random Thoughts 100 8/21/2007
#687POLARITY 253 8/20/2007
#686Who the Hell Uses Chat Rooms Nowadays? 8/19/2007
#685You ought to be ashamed of picking your nose. Seriously. 8/18/2007
#684POLARITY 252 8/13/2007
#683A Couple of Jamaicans I Presume 8/12/2007
#682I dreamt that I was a very unsatisfying Superman 8/11/2007
#681Would Having Gay Twins Be Weird? 8/10/2007
#680Garfield In Your Car Was a Weird Point in Pop Culture History 8/09/2007
#679Common Bank Practices Don't Make Sense 8/08/2007
#678POLARTIY 251 8/07/2007
#677My Sicko Story 8/05/2007
#676Tabloids and Their Random Numbers 8/04/2007
#675Random Thoughts 99 8/03/2007
#674A Hypothetical Question About Musicians Stealing Music 8/02/2007
#673A Quick Dad Story 8/01/2007
#672A Hypothetical Question About Public Sex 7/31/2007
#671POLARITY 250 7/30/2007
#670500 DEAD AFTER AWESOME MUSIC FESTIVAL 7/29/2007
#669Review of The Simpsons Movie 7/28/2007
#668Random Thoughts 98 7/27/2007
#667Random Thoughts 97 7/26/2007
#666Safe Celebrity Sex Lists 7/25/2007
#665My Mafia Nickname 7/24/2007
#664POLARITY 249 7/23/2007
#663Bloody Mary 7/22/2007
#662The Day Harry Potter's Last Book Came Out 7/21/2007
#661Random Thoughts 96 7/20/2007
#660My Dream of a Hollywood Marketing Scumbag 7/19/20007
#659 Oh, Won't Anyone PLEASE Think of the Troops??! 7/18/2007
#658The Revenge of On This Days Part 2: The Return 7/17/2007
#657POLARITY 248 7/16/2007
#656The Girl Who Dreamed of Days in a Sorority 7/08/2007
#655THE MATRIX TRILOGY RE-RELEASED ON HD-DVD AND BLU-RAY; NO LONGER SUCKS 7/07/07
#654Random Thoughts 95 7/06/07
#653Random Thoughts 94 7/05/07
#652GENERAL MILLS STOCK UP AFTER ANNOUNCEMENT OF NEW LUCKY CHARM 7/04/07
#651Revenge of On This Days 7/03/07
#650POLARITY 247 7/02/2007
#649Uncomfortable Subway Car Situations 6/24/2007
#648A Hypothetic Question About Rockin' and Rollin' 6/23/2007
#647Youtube Hates Me 6/22/2007
#646The Return of the Return of the Living On This Days Part 2 6/21/2007
#645POLARITY 246 6/20/2007
#644The Ice Cream Man, Maaaaaaaan 6/14/2007
#643The Least Comfortable Myspace Survey in the Whole World 6/13/2007
#642The Return of the Return of the Living On This Days 6/12/2007
#641POLARITY 245 6/11/2007
#640A Hypothetical Question About War 6/3/2007
#639All Sports Are Equally Dumb 6/2/2007
#638Review of Spider-Man 3 6/1/2007
#637Myspace Hacker Spam 5/31/2007
#636A Rule You Probably Didn't Know 5/30/2007
#635Random Thoughts 93 5/29/2007
#634POLARITY 244 5/28/2007
#633The Most Frequently Misspelled Words on the Internets 5/27/2007
#632The Grand Canyon is How Old? 5/26/2007
#631Tired Bottled Water Jokes 5/25/2007
#630The Sounds of Sex 5/24/2007
#629Random Thoughts 92 5/23/2007
#628How To Ride the Bus 5/22/2007
#627POLARITY 243 5/21/2007
#626Maybe not everyone deserves to live... Even though I feel terrible for feeling that way... 5/20/2007
#625Random Thoughts 91 5/19/2007
#624Nobody Likes all kinds of music, asshole 5/18/2007
#623Ponderings on Reality TV 5/17/2007
#622Random Thoughts 90 5/15/2007
#621POLARITY 242 5/14/2007
#620A Hypothetical Question About Henry Rollins 5/13/2007
#619Music, Teenagers, and The Digital Age 5/12/2007
#618The Invention That Would Change All of Mankind 5/11/2007
#617A Hypothetical Question About Sex 5/10/2007
#616A Hypothetical Question About Time Travel 5/9/2007
#615Random Thoughts 89 5/8/2007
#614POLARITY 241 5/7/2007
#613This is Hell 5/6/2007
#612Extremely Harsh Reactions to Ignored Compliments 5/5/2007
#611Ironic Boobie Tattoos 5/4/2007
#610POLARITY 240 4/30/2007
#609Return of the Living On This Days 4/29/2007
#608RECORD INDUSTRY NOW SUING BODILLA THROUGH BZIUKIEWICZ 4/28/2007
#607Review of Grindhouse 4/27/2007
#606*69: The Phone Company's Most Worthless Option 4/21/2007
#605The Military and The Police are the Exact Same Thing 4/19/2007
#604GOD ADMITS TO POSTPONING THE APOCALYPSE 4/18/2007
#603POLARITY 239 4/17/2007
#602Review of Meet the Robinsons 4/14/2007
#6014 Sex Tips! 4/13/2007
#600600th Entry! The Best of the Past 100! 4/12/2007
#599I'm tired of blue-tinted Ass Antlers 4/11/2007
#598POLARITY 238 4/9/2007
#597How Do Pamela Anderson's Kids Live With It? 4/8/2007
#596Random Thoughts 88 4/7/2007
#595Review of 300 4/6/2007
#594A Little Bit of Black Pride 4/5/2007
#593There Oughtta Be a Law!! 4/4/2007
#592POLARITY 237 4/3/2007
#591Daddy Just Got April Fooled 4/1/2007
#590Bop 'Em Fightin' Punching Bags 3/31/2007
#589Checkin' Out the Ladies... 3/30/2007
#588So... When Are you Expecting? 3/29/2007
#587My Band is Totally Ready to Open for Rage Against the Machine 3/28/2007
#586POLARITY 236 3/27/2007
#585Another On This Day! Hooray! 3/25/2007
#584Random Thoughts 87 3/24/2007
#583UPCOMING FERGIE ALBUM TO CONSIST ENTIRELY OF 30 SECOND RING TONES 3/23/2007
#582POLARITY 235 3/22/2007
#581Random Thoughts 86 3/18/2007
#580POLARITY 234 3/12/2007
#579Sometimes, Whitney Houston, The Truth Hurts 3/11/2007
#578Random Thoughts 85 3/10/2007
#577Random Thoughts 84 3/9/2007
#576The Reality of Meeting Celebrities 3/8/2007
#575Fuck Pluto 3/7/07
#574Foreign Music: Not as Good as I'd Hoped 3/6/2007
#573POLARITY 233 3/5/2007
#572The Names They Give Guns Suck 3/4/2007
#571Some More On This Days. Let's Do This. 3/3/2007
#570It's Easier to Use Someone Than You Might Think 3/2/2007
#569If I Were to Ever Do Drugs, It Would Probably Be This... 3/1/2007
#568Celine Dion Fans Represent a Disturbing Statistic 2/28/2007
#567Cashiers Get a Raw Deal 2/27/2007
#566POLARITY 232 2/26/2007
#565A 3rd Grade Valentine's Story For You... 2/25/2007
#564Random Thoughts 83 2/24/2007
#563The Futility of the American Dream 2/23/2007
#562Random Thoughts 82 2/22/2007
#561On This Day entries are just filler, but it gets another entry done. Part 3! 2/21/2006
#560POLARITY 231 2/20/2007
#559On This Day entries are just filler, but it gets another entry done. Part 2! 2/06/2007
#558POLARITY 230 2/05/2007
#557Why Would Other People's Political Views Offend You? 1/31/2007
#556On This Day entries are just filler, but it gets another entry done. 1/30/2007
#555POLARITY 229 1/29/2007
#554Review of Pan's Labyrinth 1/26/2007
#553The Nature of Breasts Being Sexualized 1/24/2007
#552I Can't Speak For Anyone Else, But... 1/23/2007
#551POLARITY 228 1/22/2007
#550Bringing a Step Parent Into Your Kids' Lives 1/21/2007
#549Random Thoughts 81 1/20/2007
#548Meanwhile, in an Alternative Universe... 1/19/2007
#547Review of Superman Returns 1/18/2007
#546Random Thoughts 80 1/16/2007
#545POLARITY 227 1/15/2007
#544George Bush Kinda Looks Like an Ape 1/14/2007
#543A Secret About Me 6 1/13/2007
#542The Berlin Wall Wasn't That Big of a Deal to a 10-Year-Old 1/12/2007
#541STUDY: At Current Rate of Consumption of Natural Resources, World Will Face Severe Glass Shortage By 2027 1/11/2007
#540Random Thoughts 79 1/10/2007
#539Two Dreams That I Thought Were Worth Mentioning 1/9/2007
#538POLARITY 226 1/8/2007
#537I Hate People That Don't Give Eye Contact 1/7/2007
#536Juan Valdez: "I'm Sick of Picking Coffee For You Fucking Gringos" 1/6/2007
#535Scuzzy Guys Get All the Girls 1/4/2007
#534Catching up on On This Days 1/3/2007
#533Random Thoughts 78 1/2/2007
#532POLARITY 225 1/1/2007
#531Random Thoughts 77 12/31/2006
#530Homosexual Marriage Really Isn't Anything Like Man-on-Animal Marriage 12/29/2006
#529Did You Know That Insomnia Won't Kill You? It's True! 12/28/2006
#528Random Thoughts 76 12/27/2006
#527POLARITY 224 12/26/2006
#526Can't Think of Anything Better for My Christmas Eve Entry 12/24/2006
#525Random Thoughts 75 12/23/2006
#524Random Thoughts 74 12/22/2006
#5235 Totally Rocking Names for Really Shitty Bands 12/21/2006
#522Store Greeters Stress Me Out 12/20/2006
#521Random Thoughts 73 12/19/2006
#520POLRITY 223 12/18/2006
#519Random Thoughts 72 12/17/2006
#518Review of The Passion of the Christ 12/16/2006
#517No One Said Abortion Was Easy 12/15/2006
#516My Friend's Mom's Dildo 12/14/2006
#515A Cordial Invitation 12/13/2006
#514The Minority Within the Minority 12/12/2006
#513POLARITY 222 12/11/2006
#512Fantasies of Being Snowed In 12/08/2006
#511Volunteering HarmFul Information For No Reason 12/07/2006
#510My Band is Totally Ready For Coachella 12/06/2006
#509POLARITY 221 12/04/2006
#508Thin People with Fat Kids Don't Make Sense 12/03/2006
#507Rule to Living Life as a Man 12/02/2006
#506Review of X-Men: The Last Stand 12/01/2006
#505Food: The Wealthy Man's True Luxury 11/28/2006
#504POLARITY 220 11/27/2006
#503Idiotic Management Philosophy 11/25/2006
#502Random Thoughts 71 11/24/2006
#501The Entry That Was Almost My Thanksgiving Entry 11/23/2006
#500500th Entry! The Best of the Past 100! 11/22/2006
#499A Philosophy To Living a Better Life 11/21/2006
#498POLARITY 219 11/20/2006
#497Trying to Be Smart is Better Than Not Trying at All 11/19/2006
#496Silly Questions About Black People 11/18/2006
#495Ashamed Rock Stars Admit to Telling Audience How Much They Rock Just to Get Applause 11/17/2006
#494My Elementary School Music Teacher 11/16/2006
#493How to Fake a Hip-Hop Interview! 11/15/2006
#492A Secret about me 5 11/14/2006
#491POLARITY 218 11/13/2006
#490Yes, I kick it old school. Because I'm old. 11/12/2006
#489 Review of Gnarls Barkley, St. Elsewhere 11/11/2006
#488Random Thoughts 70 11/10/2006
#487Spoiled, Oil-Rich Texas Billionaire Finds Bush a Decent Man 11/09/2006
#486Congratulations to America! 11/08/2006
#485Fact About Japan Reject 11/07/2006
#484POLARITY 217 11/06/2006
#483Credit Cards Are Bad News 11/05/2006
#482Dora, Out Exploring on Halloween 11/04/2006
#481CCAMP: How Not to Answer the Phone and Take a Message 11/03/2006
#480Blogger Makes Smart-Ass Comment 11/02/2006
#47910 Facts About Japan 11/01/2006
#478My Halloween Entry 2007 10/31/2006
#477POLARITY 216 10/30/2006
#4761 Billionth Yellow Ribbon Bumper Sticker Magically Supports Troops 10/29/2006
#475Handshakes 10/28/2006
#474Silly PC person. Macs don't crash. Often. 10/27/2006
#473Obsessive Pet Owners Freak Me Out 10/26/2006
#472 Celebrated Director Set to Helm Daring Movie Criticizing Social Injustices Everybody Already Hates 10/25/2006
#471Supremely Lucky Couple Celebrates Momentous Third Anniversay 10/24/2006
#470POLARITY 215 10/23/2006
#469A Few Thoughts on Homosexual Men 10/22/2006
#468Random Thoughts 69 10/21/2006
#467They Pimped Ralph's Ride 10/20/2006
#466I've Got a Giant You-Know-What 10/19/2006
#465Random Thoughts 68 10/18/2006
#464I want to listen to all music ever made. I really do. 10/17/2006
#463POLARITY 214 10/16/2006
#462This Entry is All a Dream-- OR IS IT?? 10/15/2006
#461Random Thoughts 67 10/14/2006
#460A Good Hug Would Go a Long Way 10/13/2006
#459The Racist Propaganda I Found on My Lawn 10/12/2006
#458POLARITY 213 10/09/06
#457Christmas Time Stress 10/08/06
#456And Now, a Paid Advertisement from Rex Lambert 10/07/06
#455Random Thoughts 66 10/06/06
#454The Fascinatingly Ironic Things Porn People Say 10/05/06
#453A Statistic on Genital Herpes 10/04/2006
#452Random Thoughts 65 10/03/06
#451POLARITY 212 10/02/06
#450Hollywood's Problem with Gays 10/01/2006
#449Sports Dress-Down Day is Full of Shit 9/30/2006
#448 How Exactly Does One Become a Suicide Bomber, Anyway? 9/29/2006
#447Random Thoughts 64 9/27/2006
#446Why Isn't REM Awesome Anymore? 9/26/2006
#445POLARITY 211 9/25/2006
#444Review of The Raconteurs, Broken Boy Soldiers 9/24/2006
#443Let's All Go Get an X-Ray! 9/23/2006
#442They're The Couple That Never Speaks 9/22/2006
#441Black Republicans Don't Make Sense 9/21/2006
#440Random Thoughts 63 9/20/2006
#439The Ride to Work From the Chinese Lady 9/19/2006
#438POLARITY 210 9/18/2006
#437Staying Off the Streets and Being Safe, with Deshawn Williams 9/17/2006
#436Conservatism Can't Win 9/16/2006
#435The Universal Waste of Time of Job Interviews for Menial Labor 9/15/2006
#434Random Thoughts 62 9/14/2006
#433Catching Up On On This Days. Yippity Doo. 9/13/2006
#432POLARITY 209 9/12/2006
#431The Tale of the Kidney Stone 9/10/2006
#430Random Thoughts 61 8/31/2006
#429Random Thoughts 60 8/29/2006
#428POLARITY 208 8/28/2006
#427Stereotypes, Shmereotypes 8/27/2006
#426Myspace Has Gay Advertisements 8/26/2006
#425Little Social Faux Pas 8/25/2006
#424A Secret Fact About the Moon Landing 8/24/2006
#423The Nimbus 2000 8/23/2006
#422W: The Freak Letter 8/22/2006
#421POLARITY 207 8/21/2006
#420Please don't be That Guy 8/20/2006
#419Horoscopes Suck 8/19/2006
#418 Bjork, That One Chick Being Terrorized By That Bear 8/18/2006
#417The Giant Fly Thing in The Kitchen 8/17/2006
#416Scary Plastic Surgery Fact 8/16/2006
#415POLARITY 206 8/15/2006
#414The Naked Fat Lady At Target 8/13/2006
#413A High School Friend and I Talk About Our Plans After School 8/12/2006
#412Review of V for Vendetta 8/11/2006
#411Random Thoughts 59 8/10/2006
#410Hillary Clinton 8/9/2006
#409Random Thoughts 58 8/8/2006
#408POLARITY 205 8/7/2006
#407The Worst Job You Could Ever Have 8/6/2006
#406Sore Nipples 8/5/2006
#405Paid Advertisments 8/4/2006
#404Random Thoughts 57 8/3/2006
#403The Topless Juice Bar Story 8/2/2006
#402A Peek Into the Male Mind 8/1/2006
#401POLARITY 204 7/31/2006
#400400th Entry! The Best of the Past 100! 7/30/2006
#399Thanks For Shopping Uberstore 7/29/2006
#398George Jetson: The First Cubicle Worker 7/27/2006
#397Random Thoughts 56 7/26/2006
#396Why Would You Want to Never Be Offended? 7/25/2006
#395POLARITY 203 7/24/2006
#394Review of My Super Ex-Girlfriend 7/23/2006
#393Remember when Bill Clinton "embarassed the country" with his inappropriate antics? 7/22/2006
#392British Porn is Delightful 7/21/2006
#391Home Schooling Is Silly 7/20/2006
#390Texting with Jesus 7/19/2006
#389Random Thoughts 55 7/18/2006
#388POLARITY 202 7/17/2006
#387Dear Seventeen Magazine 7/16/2006
#386Equal Custody is Too Often Done Wrong 7/15/2006
#385James Bond: Funnyman, but nobody knows it 7/14/2006
#384Kelly Ripa's Most Impressive Feature 7/13/2006
#383How to Kill a Conversation Dead 7/12/2006
#382Church of Chris 7/11/2006
#381POLARITY 201 7/10/2006
#380Random Thoughts 54 7/09/2006
#379What is it About Breasts? 7/08/2006
#378Chivalry Will Never Die. Not Completely, Anyway. 7/07/2006
#377How My 7th Grade Biology Project Was Ruined 7/06/2006
#376Prince Charming's Really Good Day 7/05/2006
#375A Happy American Paradox for the Fourth of July 7/04/2006
#374POLARITY 200 7/03/2006
#373People in Video Games Behave Oddly 7/02/2006
#372The Gift 7/01/2006
#371Review of Tool, 10,000 Days 6/30/2006
#370Shaved Heads Don't Make Sense 6/29/2006
#369The World's Only True Aphrodiasiac 6/28/2006
#368The Man of Hyperbole! 6/27/2006
#367POLARITY 199 6/26/2006
#366GUARANTEED PRANK WAR WINNERS 6/25/2006
#365Frampton Comes Alive! 6/24/2006
#364Review of The Da Vinci Code 6/23/2006
#363Videogames Aren't Social? 6/22/2006
#362What Harm Would Eating on the Toilet Bring? 6/21/2006
#361Random Thoughts 53 6/20/2006
#360POLARITY 198 6/19/2006
#359Like a Virgin 6/18/2006
#358Batman Is Bruce Wayne... Really??! 6/17/2006
#357The Simple Life 2026, Starring Shiloh Pitt-Jolie and Go-Tard Cruise 6/14/2006
#356You'd Think the Most Gorgeous People on the Planet Would Come Up with a Better Name... 6/13/2006
#355POLARITY 197 6/12/2006
#354My Canadian Friend and I Talk About Canadian Health Care 6/11/2006
#353Oh, don't worry about the noise... It's just rappers shooting at somebody 6/10/2006
#352Random Thoughts 52 6/9/2006
#351Review of Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Show Your Bones 6/8/2006
#350 Getting Becky's Phone Number 6/7/2006
#349POLARITY 196 6/6/2006
#348Random Thoughts 51 6/4/2006
#347Not Being White Sucks for Halloween 6/3/2006
#346Old People Will Be Different In The Future. I Promise 6/2/2006
#345The Great Taco Bell Rebellion 6/1/2006
#344The Ghetto Lady and Her Flesh Depository 5/31/2006
#343Why do we let credit card companies get away with it? 5/30/2006
#342POLARITY 195 5/29/2006
#341Concert Goers Are Fucking Ridiculous 5/28/2006
#340"To handle your call in as unfriendly a manner as possible, please enter your account number..." 5/27/2006
#339Random Thoughts 50 5/26/2006
#338Religion, the Exclusive Road to Optimism 5/25/2006
#337Random Thoughts 49 5/24/2006
#336The Return of On This Days! 5/23/2006
#335POLARITY 194 5/22/2006
#334Hollywood Bodies Are a Dime a Dozen 5/21/2006
#333Random Thoughts 48 5/20/2006
#332Another Reason Not to Want A Son 5/19/2006
#331Random Thoughts 47 5/18/2006
#330A Conversation with My Daughter About the Future * 5/17/2006
#329Mechanisms in Your Brain You Would Assume We All Had 5/16/2006
#328POLARITY 193 5/15/2006
#327Raising a Boy is Not Easy, Even if He is a Nerd (Mother's Day Entry) 5/14/2006
#326Random Thoughts 46 5/13/2006
#325In Memory of the "Phone Off the Hook" Tone 5/12/2006
#324My Apologies to Women Who Love Weddings, But... 5/11/2006
#323And Now, Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Random Shit 5/10/2006
#322Tool, April 30, Coachella 2006 5/9/2006
#321POLARITY 192 (COACHELLA PT. 2 EDITION) 5/8/2006
#320Massive Attack, April 30, Coachella 2006 5/7/2006
#319Yeah Yeah Yeahs, April 30, Coachella 2006 5/6/2006
#318Sleater-Kinney, April 30, Coachella 2006 5/5/2006
#317My Coachella 2006 story about the VIP room 5/4/2006
#316POLARITY 191 (COACHELLA EDITION) 5/3/2006
#315The Truth About Christian Theology 4/28/2006
#314Review of Silent Hill 4/27/2006
#313An Open Letter to Gwen Stefani From a Hollaback Girl 4/26/2006
#312Random Thoughts 45 4/25/2006
#311POLARITY 190 4/24/2006
#310Random Thoughts 44 4/23/2006
#309A Nerd With a Very Sheltered Life Dissusses Monty Python 4/22/2006
#308Heaven: No Pets Allowed 4/21/2006
#307Every Place is Full of Assholes 4/20/2006
#306Easter Is Not a Well Thought-Out Holiday 4/19/2006
#305Why Do We Only Have 12 Months? 4/18/2006
#304POLARITY 189 4/17/2006
#303The Thing About Fat People... 4/16/2006
#302A Hilarious Joke. Ha ha ha. 4/15/2006
#301Review of King Kong 4/14/2006
#300300th Entry! The Best of the Past 100! 4/13/2006
#299The Final Frontier in Shaving 4/11/2006
#298POLARITY 188 4/10/2006
#297Being American 4/9/2006
#296Random Thoughts 43 4/8/2006
#295Random Thoughts 42 4/7/2006
#294The Problem Isn't Education 4/6/2006
#293POLARITY 187 4/5/2006
#292An Innovative Hip-Hop Hero 4/2/2006
#291Happy April Fool's Day, Assholes 4/1/2006
#290The Other Opposite Side of Superhero Sexual Harrassment 3/31/2006
#289Random Thoughts 41 3/30/2006
#288Review of Crash 3/29/2006
#287Ode to Juliana Margulies 3/28/2006
#286POLARITY 186 3/27/2006
#285My Dream Encounter with Bono 3/26/2006
#284So, you like-a the hold, eh? 3/25/2006
#283George Clooney on Gay Marriage 3/24/2006
#282The Insanity of Not Supporting Same-Sex Marriage 3/23/2006
#281The Workplace Nutjob 3/22/2006
#280Why do they have to perpetuate the stereotype?? 3/21/2006
#279POLARITY 185 3/20/2006
#278Random Thoughts 40 3/19/2006
#277An Alternate Punch-Line to Yesterday's Entry 3/18/2006
#276St. Patrick's Day Entry 3/17/2006
#275Road Signs in Arizona That Might Must Just Keep Missing... 3/16/2006
#274Another Rock Secret I Won't Mention in Public 3/15/2006
#273 The High School Mentality of Today's Tabloids 3/14/2006
#272POLARITY 184 3/13/2006
#271A Note About Real Men 3/12/2006
#270A Few Fantastically Horrible Foreign Last Names 3/11/2006
#269Review of The Streets, A Grand Don't Come For Free 3/10/2006
#268Welcome to the World That Debates the Undebatable 3/9/2006
#267 Celestial Dawn Waites Reads From Green Eggs And Ham* 3/8/2006
#266POLARITY 183 3/6/2006
#265Rhythm Guitarists Are Just Frigging Lame 3/5/2006
#264What Would Hulk Do? 3/4/2006
#263Random Thoughts 39 3/3/2006
#262Review of Date Movie 3/2/2006
#261The Opposite Side of Superhero Sexual Harrassment 3/1/2006
#260Michelle and Kristen Talk About Spider-Man 2/28/2006
#259POLARITY 182 2/27/2006
#258A Little Known Fact About Your Favorite Candies 2/26/2006
#257Why am I the Only One That Hates Bob Marley? 2/25/2006
#256THOMAS EDISON INVENTS THE CAMERA 2/24/2006
#255A Secret About Me 4 2/23/2006
#254"I CANT FIND MY MOMMY. YOU WILL HELP ME." 2/22/2006
#253The True Story of the Second Time I heard My Favorite Knock Knock Joke 2/21/2006
#252POLARITY 181 2/20/2006
#251Myspace Picture Pet Peeves 2/19/2006
#250Random Thoughts 38 2/18/2006
#249"Relationship" is a wonderful word 2/17/2006
#248Agnoticism 2/16/2006
#247Random Thoughts 37 2/15/2006
#246POLARITY 180 2/14/2006
#245Iceland is my holy land 2/12/2006
#244"...And Here Comes Ungabungastan!" 2/11/2006
#243Random Thoughts 36 2/10/2006
#242Oh? Well I'd be more than happy to help you die. 2/9/2006
#241Random Thoughts 35 2/8/06
#240Red Hot Fucking Action, Starring Chris and Michelle 2/7/06
#239POLARITY 179 2/6/2006
#238No, I mean 2005 sucked 2/5/2006
#237I'm Birthday Boy, Suckahs 2/4/2006
#236I don't think I've matured at all...2/3/2006
#235A Little Known Fact About Mr. Peanut 2/2/2006
#234Being the King of Cock 2/1/2006
#233Review of Beck, Guero 1/31/2006
#232POLARITY 178 1/30/2006
#231An Excellent Quote from the "Bush Doesn't Like Black People" Guy... 1/29/2006
#230A Case of Mistaken Sexuality... 1/28/2006
#229"Who Doesn't Regret At Least One Thing?" 1/27/2006
#228Life Would Be Better Without Banks 1/26/2006
#227The Difference Between Fat People and Smokers 1/25/2006
#226Smokers and Their Smoke Breaks Piss Me Off 1/24/2006
#225POLARITY 177 1/23/2006
#224Pornography: The Only Honest Media 1/22/2006
#223Mardi Gras needs me and you 1/21/2006
#222Good Conversation Makes the World Go 'Round 1/20/2006
#221Prestige Chocolate Ice Cream: Delicious and Kinda Scary 1/19/2006
#220 Review of Gorillaz, Demon Days 1/12/2006
#219POLARITY 176 1/11/2006
#218 Random Thoughts 34 1/08/2006
#217Random Thoughts 33 1/07/2006
#216Kids Do the Dumbest Shit on the Internet 1/06/2006
#215Cosmo is a steaming pile of shit. 1/05/2006
#214How Could Anyone Wipe Sitting Down? 1/04/2006
#213The Microwave Effect 1/03/2006
#212POLARITY 175 1/02/2006
#211You wouldn't think I could be grumpy about New Year's, but I am. 12/31/2005
#210Good Riddance 2005 12/30/2005
#209Practical Roadsigns Part 2 12/29/2005
#2087th Grade CRS and His "Major Boner" 12/28/2005
#207Chris Looks Like a Porn Star12/27/2005
#206POLARITY 174 12/26/2005
#205A Christmas Greeting... 12/25/2005
#204BUSHWHACKER'S Message for the Holidays! 12/24/2005
#203The Most Embarrassing Overdrafted Bank Account Story EVER 12/23/2005
#202Meeting the Father of all Christmas Music 12/22/2005
#201A Conversation with a Soon to be Dad 12/21/2005
#200200th Entry! The Best of the last 200 entries! 12/20/2005
#199POLARITY 173 12/19/2005
#198What the heck was up with the Emergency Broadcast System? 12/11/2005
#197Where have all the truant officers gone? 12/10/2005
#196Random Thoughts 32 12/07/2005
#195People leave obvious outgoing messages. 12/06/2005
#194POLARITY 172 12/05/2005
#193Gaze... Into unfiltered, mind-bending terror 12/04/2005
#192Compensation for not having a wallet... 12/03/2005
#191Email Addresses Have Gotten Out of Hand 12/02/2005
#190"There are no advantages to being black in America. None." 12/01/2005
#189Ask a Kinda-Black Dude: What's up with Gold Teeth? 11/30/2005
#188If Life Were More Like in The Sims 11/29/2005
#187 POLARITY 171 11/28/2005
#186So, how was Thanksgiving anyway? 11/27/2005
#185Review of Alien Vs Predator 11/23/2005
#184Random Thoughts 31-- YES ANOTHER ONE 11/22/2005
#183POLARITY 170 11/21/2005
#182Random Thoughts 30 11/20/2005
#181Random Thoughts 29 11/19/2005
#180"Oh, Supervillain... I never noticed how handsome you are..." 11/18/2005
#179God and Children Don't Mix 11/17/2005
#178Oh, Canada 11/16/2005
#177Ever Found a Photo of a Total Stranger? 11/15/2005
#176 POLARITY 169 11/14/2005
#175Real Life: Two Thumbs Down 11/13/2005
#174A Party Phenomenon I Don't Understand 11/12/2005
#173Eating Your Boogers is Conductive of Moving Society Forward 11/11/2005
#172Random Thoughts 28 11/10/2005
#171The Many Moods of Batman... 11/09/2005
#170POLARITY 168 11/08/2005
#169The Case for Spam 11/06/2005
#168Taking the lazy way out of posting... A survey!! 11/05/2005
#167A Conversation I had on AIM about Stone Temple Pilots 11/04/2005
#166A Top-Secret Email... INTERCEPTED! 11/03/2005
#165Give me a scientific break-down of my genetic background... Now! 11/02/2005
#164Review of Foo Fighters In Your Honor 11/01/2005
#163POLARITY 167 10/31/2005
#162The Spell of the Wedding... 10/30/2005
#161I want you to think of the ramifications of this... 10/29/05
#160Random Thought 27 10/28/05
#159I Have Had Officially Had Enough of Metrosexuality 10/27/2005
#158A Letter to my Wonderful Daughter 10/26/2005
#157Review of Sleater - Kinney, The Woods 10/25/2005
#156POLARITY 166 10/24/2005
#155An email I sent a friend about Myspace bots 10/23/2005
#154 What do I expect from a bootleg? 10/22/2005
#153Why I Hate the "N" Word 10/21/2005
#152Review of Constantine 10/20/2005
#151I *HEART* Nick Stahl 10/19/2005
#150But... I do act black! 10/18/2005
#149POLARITY 165 10/17/2005
#148Signing Up at MySpace 10/16/2005
#147A Secret About Me 3 10/15/2005
#146CCAMP: The Worst Thing A Human Can do to Another on the Phone 10/14/2005
#145CCAMP: How to Rid Yourself of Discourteous Phone Calls in the Morning 10/13/2005
#144A Public Service Announcement from the CCAMP 10/12/2005
#143A Secret About Me 2 10/11/2005
#142POLARITY 164 10/10/2005
#141Project: Find a Better Album Cover than Mr Banjo 10/09/2005
#140Who Expects This From a Crack Ho? 10/08/2005
#139Jerry the G-Thug Gets a New Outgoing Message 10/07/2005
#138Seeking Help? Ask Father Cell Phone! 10/06/2005
#137A Secret About Me 1 10/05/2005
#136Those-- Those Cops are Looting That Wal-Mart! The World is Coming to an End! 10/04/2005
#135POLARITY 163 10/03/2005
#134A little tip for when you're arguing about who the best President was... 10/02/2005
#133Random Thoughts 26 10/01/2005
#132I've Created a DVD Snob 9/30/2005
#13110 Terrible Ballads From the 80's That I Will Absolutely Never Admit to Loving 9/29/2005
#130Got Chewing Gum? 9/28/2005
#129At least I wouldn't be a college dropout... 9/27/2005
#128POLARITY 162 9/26/2005
#127Is this what Jeopardy nerds think of Comic Book nerds? 9/25/2005
#126Random Thoughts 25 9/24/2005
#125Oh, as if I'm the only person to ever think this... 9/23/2005
#124Instant Messaging in the year 2005 sucks 9/22/2005
#123Do YOU know what crack smells like? 9/21/2005
#122Review of A Perfect Circle, Thirteenth Step and eMOTIVe 9/20/2005
#121POLARITY 161 9/19/2005
#120Neglecting Stem Cell Research 9/18/2005
#119Random Thoughts 24 9/17/2005
#118Jerry the G-Thug Ponders Springsteen 9/16/2005
#117Welcome to BM Emporium! 9/15/2005
#116Fuck you. AND your toolbar. 9/14/2005
#115A Brief Encounter With a Stranger 9/13/2005
#114POLARITY 160 9/12/2005
#113The Mismanagement of America 9/11/2005
#112God of Rock 9/10/2005
#111 Automatic Voice Messaging Systems are a Fucking Waste of Time 9/9/2005
#110An excerpt from an actual driver's test in Chandler, AZ 9/8/2005
#109My revolutionary cable tv idea 9/7/2005
#108Hurricane Katrina: The Whole World Has Gone Mad 9/6/2005
#107POLARITY 159 9/5/2005
#106A Quick Quote 9/4/2005
#105America Doesn't Need Any More Fonzies 9/3/2005
#104The Practicality of the Dreaded Urinal 9/2/2005
#103America's Butts: The Shrinkening 9/1/2005
#102Sign Up for JP Devereau Institute for Medical Research Today! 8/31/2005
#101POLARITY 158 8/30/2005
#100100th ENTRY! The best of the last 100 entries! 8/29/2005
#99Review of Batman Begins 8/26/2005
#98Getting Some TMI off my Chest 8/25/2005
#97Random Thoughts 23 8/24/2005
#80Review of Eagles of Death Metal: Peace Love Death Metal8/23/2005
#95POLARITY 157 8/22/2005
#94Why I hate other geeks 8/18/2005
#93Where have all the Batmen gone? 8/17/2005
#92The Great Failed Salad Experiment 8/16/2005
#91ALL UR PC ARE BELONG TO US 8/15/2005
#90POLARITY 156 8/01/2005
#89Didn't Know I was UnAmerican 7/31/2005
#88"But I would not feel so all alone. Everybody must get stoned, dude." 7/30/2005
#87Random Thoughts 22 7/29/2005
#86Random Thoughts 21 7/28/2005
#85A quick peek at the family... 7/27/2005
#84FACT: Hip-Hop all sounds the same 7/26/2005
#83 POLARITY 155 7/25/2005
#82TOP TWENTY HOTTEST CELEBRITIES Part 2 7/24/2005
#81TOP TWENTY HOTTEST CELEBRITIES Part 1 7/23/2005
#80Review of The White Stripes: Get Behind Me Satan 7/22/2005
#79Random Thought #20 7/21/2005
#78Practical Roadsigns 7/20/2005
#77What Does "Freedom" Mean? 7/19/2005
#76POLARITY 154 7/18/2005
#75My Daughter is Too Smart 7/17/2005
#74Point/Counterpoint: Who's scarier, Zombies or Horrible Monsters From Space? 7/16/2005
#73My little secret about an obnoxious celebrity7/15/2005
#72My Top Twenty-Five Movies of All Time Part 3 7/14/2005
#71My Top Twenty-Five Movies of All Time Part 2 7/13/2005
#70My Top Twenty-Five Movies of All Time Part 1 7/12/2005
#69POLARITY 153 7/11/2005
#68Newt's last days... 7/10/2005
#67Random Thought #19 7/9/2005
#66A few thoughts on the London Terrorist Bombings" 7/8/2005
#65Introducing Microsoft WinCount 7/7/2005
#64Eva Green is a goddamn hottie, whoever she is 7/6/2005
#63AMERICA-- Fuck yeah! 7/5/2005
#62POLARITY 152 7/4/2005
#61I'm not a hippy. I just don't like Bills. 7/3/2005
#60Random Statistical Fact 7/2/2005
#59I Just Don't get vinyl 7/1/2005
#58Your Own Rock N Roll Supergroup! 6/30/2005
#57Jay Kay who? 6/29/2005
#56The BUSHWHACKER Updates America on Iraq! Now in Technicolor! 6/28/2005
#55POLARITY 151 6/27/2005
#54 Howard Stern vs the FCC 6/26/2005
#53 Review of Queens of the Stone Age: Lullabies to Paralyze 6/25/2005
#52 The Conflict of "Alternative Music" 6/24/2005
#51 A Quick FAQ with Jonah 6/23/2005
#50 A Message to Hollywood, With Love, From Jonah 6/22/2005
#49 The Futility of the Spelling Bee 6/21/2005
#48 POLARITY 150 6/20/2005
#47 Another Letter to Spin 6/19/2005
#46 Africa is a Million Miles Away 6/18/2005
#45 America's Trouble Remembering the World Trade Center Jumpers 6/17/2005
#44 Viola's Picture Day 6/16/2005
#43 A Quick Thought on Nudity in Films 6/15/2005
#42 Review of The Incredibles 6/14/2005
#41 POLARITY 149 6/13/2005
#40 Classic Fun at Hot Or Not dot Com! 6/12/2005
#39 The Return of Fun At Hotornot.com 6/11/2005
#38 Random Thoughts Part 18! 6/10/2005
#37 An Aging Hipster on the Tao of Cool 6/9/2005
#36 Random Thoughts Part 17? 6/8/2005
#35 Why aren't the Biff Tannons of the world extinct yet, Darwin? 6/7/2005
#34 POLARITY 148 6/6/2005
#33 Random Thoughts Part... 16? 6/5/2005
#32 A Public Service Announcement About Boxer Shorts 6/4/2005
#31 Review of Sin City 6/3/2005
#30 Being a Criminal in Metropolis Must Suck 6/2/2005
#29 Three Overrated Bands (that I like anyway)* 6/1/2005
#28 Nine Inch Nails With Teeth Review 5/31/2005
#27 POLARITY 147 5/30/2005
#26 The Return of Danny the Dopehead 5/27/2005
#25 Bathroom Philosophy 5/26/2005
#24 20 bucks for advice 5/25/2005
#23 The New Job 5/24/2005
#22 The Diary of a Guy Who's Never Lived in a House Before 5/23/2005
#21 POLARITY 146 5/22/2005
#20 Renovation in progress 11/16/2004
#19 "What More Can I Say? Democracy Doesn't work." Part 2: The Horror 11/7/2004
#18 "What More Can I Say? Democracy Doesn't work." Part 1: The Paranoia 11/6/2004
#17 The 2004 Elections; Or How I Almost Voted for Bush 11/2/2004
#16 POLARITY 145 11/1/2004
#15 "NIGHTMERICA": I didn't coin the word, but it'll do nicely here. 10/29/2004
#14 Hating is good for you and me 10/28/2004
#13 Review of Bjork: Medulla 10/27/2004
#12 BUSHWHACKER: Bushwhacking the election! 10/26/2004
#11 A re-re-reintroduction to bitterness 10/25/2004
#10 POLARITY 144 10/24/2004
#9 Really Important Questions, part-- oh, let's just say 15? 7/10/2004
#8 A fairly easy-to-figure-out poem. 7/8/2004
#7 ...And for those of you wondering how the baby is doing... 7/7/2004
#6 Me and a gun. And an asshole. 7/6/2004
#5 POLARITY 143 7/5/2004
#4 A re-reintroduction to bitterness 7/4/2004
#3 THE JUICEWHACKER! 6/7/2004
#2 POLARITY 142 6/6/2004
#1 A reintroduction to bitterness 6/5/2004
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